The Diaries of Kenny McCormick

A (Pretty Shitty) Plan

"Of course I'd tell my boyfriend about it." She's at the top of the stairs and my mind is racing. BOYFRIEND? DID SHE JUST CALL ME HER BOYFRIEND? Criss and I have definitely kissed before but we aren't... Are we? Is this her sick way of telling me? I shake my head when I see the annoyed look on Albert's face, no it's just a part of the plan. I want to ask her about Karen but then remember Criss' part of the job was to get her to safety, no doubt she climbed down the window and is on her way to a friend's house.

Albert laughs at the brunette and puts a hand on my blond hair. I want to rip his arm off and shove it up his ass. "Boyfriend? I would've assumed he dumped you after what you pulled." I give her a questionable look and she's just as confused. He gives me a smug look again. "Look, kid whatever she told you she started this."

My mouth is open in shock and there's a horrified look on Criss' face. "Look, Kevin-"

"Kenny!" Criss shouts because I'm too intent on hearing this 'story' to really care what this fucker calls me. 

"Right, Kenny. This is how it really went down, your 'girlfriend' was asking for it. Literally."

"I was minding my own business. Karen went out with friends and your mom was at work. Of course Criss, here was at our house doing the usual chores." I looked to Criss who was looking at the stairs below her, I couldn't see her face so reading her expression was impossible. I really didn't know how to feel about all this. "I went to go check on her and maybe order a pizza so she wouldn't have to cook dinner. She was on the floor scrubbing away. I didn't think much of it, but then she asked for my assistance. I joined her on the floor and she showed me her hands. They were blistering and bleeding from working too much."

I can still imagine every detail of that fucking story Albert spat. Criss was on the floor scrubbing it down with watered rags and soap. She's been at it for so long her hands are blistered and bleeding. Albert comes in and goes on the floor with her. He takes her hands and 'examines' them, pretending to give a shit. 

"Don't worry, let me get you something." Albert leaves in search for medicine for the cuts and bandages. The son of a bitch comes back. This time when he gets on the ground, he talks smoother, he takes her hands and he steps over the creepy boundary like a FUCKING PEDO!

"This won't hurt one bit." He spouts that bull shit every adult does when they're about to hurt you. He puts on the medicine and the bandage. Then when Criss looks up, ThIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS REAL! Criss looks up and Albert has the nerve to say SHE KISSED HIM. Not that he forced his sleazy hands on her and he kissed her.

They kiss and apparently it gets intense. Albert refused to go in graphic detail and I thanked God for that. But he said Criss loved every minute of his wandering hands. That she begged him to do it. That he shouldn't stop and she never once said no. He finishes the story with "surprised the slut hasn't asked for more." 

I turn to Criss who is crying, her big brown eyes are so sad as she covers her face.  "YOU'RE A LIAR!" She tries to scream but it comes out in sobs. I don't know if I really believe Albert. I don't really know anything all I really know is that I'm fucking pissed. 

My fists are already clenched so I swing at him, but he's too fucking fast. He moves his head back, kicks me back and I trip over the couch. I fall flat on my face. Albert races to get in front of me. 

"Kenny, don't!" She screams. That urges me to beat him. He's in front of me and tries to kick me, I grab his leg and he trips. I successfully get two kicks to his face before he gets real mad.

His pretty boy face is distorted. The winning smile is now a sneer and he's got a bloody nose. Before I can get over my victory for being able to mangle his face, Albert the child molly tackles me. I'm pinned to the ground.