I'm hearing things // phan

Thank god

Phil POV (if you didn't notice I changed where they are having their wedding. It's now Greece)
It took 3 weeks but he woke up. The doctors guaranteed 100% that he would not relapse. I woke up cuddled next to Dan while he kissed my neck.
"How long have I been here Phil?"
"Wait you're awake?"
"Yeah how long have I been out of it?"
"3 weeks baby. Do you want me to call in a nurse?"
"No, I have to do something first." He pressed his hands against my unclothed hip bone and shifted up feeling my stomach. As much as I knew this was the wrong place wrong time I couldn't just deny him of what he wanted. Of what I needed. And as he left pecks on my collar I thought back to what it was like when he wasn't really there.
~~~~~
"Dan?"
"My hand is bigger then your face."
"How are you sweetheart?"
"Well I'm dying so I'm wonderful!"
"W-what?"
"Well I don't have to be here anymore. I hate it here. The only good in this horrid place is you but now I get to see my blood on your hands and I don't feel bad. I feel great."
"That you're bleeding?"
"No, well yes but no it's that the more you see it the less you care and that re assures me that a one point you won't care."
"Dan I will always care."
"I despise liars."
"I'm not lying."
"Phil I am not happy. Please ask the nurses to do it now."
"Do what?" Know in exactly what he meant.
"Kill me Phil. Tell them to put me out of my misery I am miserable."
"Dan please stop."
"Please stop trying to keep me alive."
"Dan stop."
"Stop saving me from myself."
"Stop."
"I'm dangerous Phil you don't want me."
"Stop!" I shouted he just smiled.
"Why must you hold back the tru-" and the nurse rushed in and gave him a sedative Putting him back to sleep.
~~~~
Not here. Pushed lightly on Dans chest and fully sat upright.
"What's wrong?"
"Dan. You're not okay."
"What why would you tell me that?"
"Because it's the truth. You know it. I know it. We just won't say it. Until  you kept repeating it over and over."
"I know. Phil I'm not happy."
"I know. Is it me?"
"No. It's what you've done and my own fear. It's changing your image. The light around you gets dimmer every time I have a nightmare."
"Let's, take a break?"
"No. Unless that's what you want." It's not. I want to be with him forever.
"No I don't. But what's the best for you?"
"For us to be together. If not I'll end up drinking, not taking my pills, and I love you. Please don't leave me."
"I would never." He cupped my face with his hand and pulled himself up kissing me. We both did it, tried to find the spark, the heat, the passion that was once burning. And we did. We always do. Immediately. Dan cuffed his fingers in the collar of my shirt. And pulled himself on top of my body.
"Fuck, Phil I love you."
"I love you too bear."
"Lion." I gashed my teeth at him and he gashed my teeth right against my nose.
"I love you. So. Fucking. Much."
"I love you too. So. Much. More." I tilted his chin to my face and kissed him. What a beautiful boy.

-----dans soul while he was crazy-----

Fuck me. I just want to come back out and tell Phil how sorry I am for saying this weird shit. It's like my brain can't process the fact that he's upsetting Phil on purpose. I am. I'm trying to tell him everything I'm thinking and I'm not holding back. Phil I'm sorry. Forgive these harsh but some true words.

-----Dans POV-----

Phil won't tell me anything. The moment we were out so we're silent tears at night. I just woke up at 3:00 am the clock states. I reached to my other side to cuddle into Phil when my hand hit the bed. I shot back open my eyes and slowly but surely sat up. He could just be in the washroom. Yes but at 3? His bodily needs shouldn't be this high also he went the the washroom before bed. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and pushed myself off. I slowly stepped toward our bathroom. Weeping. Phil weeping. I stood around the corner as the door was open and he was sobbing. He rarely cries or sobs. Whats wrong? I stepped into the door way and he immediately wiped his eyes.
"Phil? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing I um Im fi-"
"Don't fucking lie to me."
"I'm not fine."
"Why?"
"It's um it's the things you said at the hospital."
"Please tell me what I said. This has happened almost every day Phil."
"I can't. Dan don't scratch at the wall."
"I'm about to break through it. Tell me."
"No."
"Phil,"
"Dan I said no. You don't want to know."
"Don't order me around I'm not a puppy."
"Stop asking me! You don't want to know."
"Don't yell at me!"
"Dan, just leave me alone. You don't want to know I don't want you to know."
"Fine I'm leaving. I'm going to Carries come get me when you're ready to stop ordering me around." I grabbed my keys off the desk and walked out of the room. I hoped I'd hear footsteps behind me. But I never did. I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I Then walked to the car and jumped in the drivers seat. Is he really going to let me leave? Maybe it's the right thing to do. He wants me gone. No he's going to come out any second. Please Phil. Please walk out that door and stop me. Please. That's when my shy tear fell off my cheek and burned my hand. I looked up at Phil who was running out to the now started car. He opened the door and sat on my lap putting his arms around my neck.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Dan do you want to do something you've been talking about for a while but in a way where we'd both be happy." I knew exactly what he spoke of.
"Yes I do."
"Let's do it in the morning ok?"
"Not until you tell me what I said that made you upset. Not everything just that one thing."
"Fine. But you have to know that I love you."
"Yes I know."
"You kept saying you were miserable and you wanted to die and that I was holding back the truth by telling you to stop."
"Really? I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Ok." He leaned onto my lips with his and shut the car door. He pulled back. "We're a mess. Let's straighten things out." (Like this story hahaha)
"Proceed."
"Well for example our wedding is in a month."
"What. The. Fuck."
"You haven't been on your phone in almost 2 months dear. It's August 31st"
"Our weddings on October 20th! We have barely anything done!"
"What did you think I was doing while you were sick?"
"I didn't know."
"Working, planning the wedding and staying with you. By the way the only thing we have left to do is get you 2 new suits one for the ceremony and an extra just in case. I've already gotten mine, I went out with Tyler Pj and Louise."
"Well, thank you for working so hard. I love you."
"I adore you."
"You're so fucking perfect. Dear god I can't express how much you mean to me."
"I can't lose you now can I?"
"Hey Phil."
"Yeah Dan?"
"I'm hearing things."
"Like what?"
"Like that you love some guy who loves you back so much more."
"Well that's just a rumour because there's this guy that loves me but I love him back so much more."
"You may now kiss the groom." Phil leaned in and kissed me softly and lightly. It was perfect. Every kiss with him is perfect.