DEATH'S HEART

Chapter 15 (Radish Fiction Version)

I must have been dreaming a thousand dreams as I laid in a void. Surrounded by the infinite sea of red dirt, it did not matter what direction I followed; I would still be in a void. No matter how far I tread, I would still be in the middle of this vast plane. So, I stayed where I was–alone but comfortable. It felt like home.

A distant nightmare had awakened within me, and I wanted to escape from it. It did not take long for me to learn that to flee from this nightmare, I had to succumb to the lure of sleep and surrender to a thousand dreams.

Why only now though? I had crossed my world and the land of the living without having to be awakened from the ghastly reality that I had been running away from for centuries upon centuries. While being serenaded by the comforts of a thousand dreams, I thought that maybe...just maybe...it was time to see this life through, and finally end it. The memory of how everything came to be was returning to me ever so slowly that it became enervating. I did not care if I remembered every lifetime. All I wanted was to remember the reason why I was alive in a human body.

I steadied my gaze towards the different shades of red that painted the sky. I did not know for how long I had sought refuge here, but I wanted to stay far longer to be at peace with the consciousness of my true form. For now, I wanted to hide from being vulnerable to all the emotions of humanity. I could burst out in a deranged fit of laughter at the irony of how a simple caress from my fingertips could send a vigorous wave of emotions into a person. One touch from me could send them into a euphoric frenzy of pleasure and pain, while I...already incapacitated by anger and fear alone! Oh! What irony indeed! I was vulnerable.

So, in the meantime, I hid from the part of me that was vulnerable.

I am Death. I am powerful.

I surrendered to a thousand dreams that flooded my thoughts all at the same time. A thousand dreams that took me everywhere. And all those dreams were real and they were all happening simultaneously.

2:07PM, CHOR BAZAAR, MUMBAI, MAHARASHTRA, INDIA

The streets were drenched from the heavy rains that poured nonstop since early morning. The bottom of her once bright yellow sari dragged across the ground, mopping off the muck left behind by the footsteps that treaded on the surface. She battled her way through the crowd, partially folding her umbrella back just to get past the crowd ahead of her. She stopped in front of an antique shop, feeling relieved that after the long walk, she finally reached her destination. She reached for the hem of her sari and lifted it off the ground. She wrinkled her aquiline nose at the sight of the gunk and mud that stained the yellow material. There was even a partial footprint left by a dabbawala who rushed in front of her with his cartful of dabbas earlier that afternoon. She remembered yelling back at him, but he did not even give her a second glance. She sighed. She was not looking forward to the tiring chore of washing the cloth to its former glory.

She returned her attention to the antique shop. It was crowded, and she was certain that most of them were just there for the shelter. She took another step closer, craning her neck from side, in her attempt to see past the pack that blocked her view of the shelves. She closed her eyes, praying that the item she was after was still there.

The sudden bellow from the shopkeeper made her emaciated body jolt. She thought of turning around and coming back another day, but she had already walked this far. She did not know if she would ever have the strength to travel all the way from Dharavi to Byculla on foot. With her frail health, it had taken her almost four hours to get to where she was. She flinched at the thought of having to walk back home. She was exhausted, hungry, and weak. She would be lucky if she got home before eight that evening. The cold sidewalks were actually an inviting option for her to rest.