Colors (bxb) [DISCONTINUED]

cracking

Hi, everyone! Just a little disclaimer before the chapter starts. This chapter has a lot of profanity, and it's a bit depressing. I warned you all that things will get sad in this story. The entire story will not be like this, trust me, but a few chapters will be kinda sad. If conflict and internal issues aren't your type of story, then I'd recommend leaving now. :)

Hopefully I didn't really lose any readers LMAO. I just really felt the need to post that disclaimer. Some people do need to be warned before chapters like this.

But anyway, happy reading! :D

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"Life is a box of colors."

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In all my sixteen years of living, I never imagined that I would be at a party on a Monday night, hanging out with the most attractive boy that I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen a lot of cute boys in my lifetime; the Teen Wolf cast, in particular, always manages to blow me away.

And yet, somehow, Justin Reynolds has managed to worm his way into my heart in the span of a single day. Tyler Posey has nothing on him right now.

But as I was saying, I never imagined that a day like this would come. I thought that I would be spending my entire life alone, unhappy, still hiding my sexuality from everyone. And even though I'm technically still alone, and still hiding my sexuality . . . I'm not unhappy anymore. Even if I may just be ignoring the fact that he's straight and will never find me as captivating as I find him, I don't even care. He's talking to me, laughing with me, giving me the attention that I never thought I'd receive from someone of his caliber . . .

He said that there's nobody else he'd rather hang out with tonight.

And that, alone, means a lot more than I'd be willing to admit. I'm constantly in fear of people realizing just how troublesome I am and abandoning me; I'm constantly in fear of Ava liking Tyrese more than me, or Tyrese liking Ava more than me; I'm constantly in fear that the entire world will one day turn against me.

But if there's just one person that can promise their eternal loyalty towards me . . .

If that person could be Justin Reynolds . . .

"I'm hungry," he suddenly says, taking me out of my thoughts. I blink, watching as his brown eyes meet mine, and his lips twist into an adorable grin. "I mean, I did kinda eat something before coming here, but I swear that it feels like I haven't eaten in three days."

I laugh, shaking my head, remembering when he came into the classroom and pronounced that his favorite thing to do was eat. How is it that he can gorge out and yet keep such a good figure?

"Y'know, my eighth grade literature teacher told me that she eats once every hour," I say. "I mean, sure, she was a little obese . . . but I see where you're coming from."

Justin snorts, and he's the one to shake his head this time. Another feeling of pure bliss settles in the pits of my stomach, and I inwardly wonder how I'm actually maintaining conversation with this god. It almost doesn't feel real, like I'm standing at a distance and watching myself do the talking, instead of actually partaking in the small-talk. I would have screwed up by now; I should have screwed up by now. I'm not funny, I'm just crude. I'm not smooth, I'm just pleasantly awkward. What is it that Justin sees in me that keeps him from being put-off?

Maybe he likes you . . .

. . . As much as I want to believe that, and as much as I wish it were true, it's not. I know it's not. He's straight, heterosexual, female-attracted, whatever. I just know he's straight, and so putting hope in that wistful thinking will just do nothing but tear me down even more. Besides, you can sorta tell when a guy is gay or not, whether you want to find that offensive or not -- and Justin doesn't fit any of the stereotypes.