Sworn to Secrecy

6: Are You Sure?

{A/N: Hey all! So I'm going to be a mean person and not update until 800 reads. Heeheeeeee but I do have some good parts coming along so get ready for thattttttt

Enjoy this chapter! Xx ~Pickles}

As the weeks went by, Nathan and I grew even closer. We occasionally held hands or hugged. I occasionally caught glimpses of his other self, and what I saw made my chest ache. The other Nathan was always so sad and tired. But from what?

I asked him one day, and he just tensed up.

"I'll tell you when we're both ready," he promised, giving me a fake smile. I returned it and squeezed his hand.

This touchiness was nothing new, but it always felt right to me.

One chilly autumn afternoon we were over at Nareesha's house, meeting her new boyfriend Siva. He was a sweet lad, very bright and very quiet. His Irish accent was a bit difficult to understand, but he was a good person and a great match for Nareesha.

I collapsed onto her couch and sighed. "I'm so tired," I said, closing my eyes.

"You think you're tired?" Nathan snorted. He was talking quietly so only I could hear. No one else knew about the fake show he was putting on. "Try living a day in my life."

I opened an eye and saw him curling up into the couch next to me. I slipped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to me. He leaned into my body and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Jay?" Kelsey asked. I looked up at her, confused at her mixed expression.

"Yeah, Kels?"

"Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?" She stressed the last word.

Nathan untangled himself from my arms and sat up, gesturing for me to go. I reluctantly stood and joined Kelsey in Nareesha's room.

"What's going on, Jay?" she immediately asked, locking the door.

"You tell me," I countered. "Why are we in here?"

"Because you're acting weird around Nathan and I don't know if you know it."

"Then enlighten me."

She took a step closer to me. As she spoke her words, I knew everything she said was true. She could read me better than anyone, including myself.

"I see the way you look at him. It's the way I look at Tom. You smile or blush when he looks back, like his attention means the world to you. You two hug and cuddle and hold hands and I bet you two haven't even discussed it. What are you looking for in Nathan?" Kelsey spoke softly but forcefully, letting me know I wasn't leaving without giving her an answer she liked.

"A best friend," I told her.

"Are you sure?"

Was I? No. I wasn't. Every time I saw his face my pulse increased. His smile made me soar, his laugh completed me. I wasn't looking for a best friend anymore.

The weight of this revelation made me sink down into a chair. I stared at the ground.

I'm falling for Nathan Sykes.

How did this happen?

Kelsey wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. "It's okay, Jay. I'm always here for you, I promise. It's okay to like Nathan," she promised.

"But he's my best friend! This isn't right!" I cried, nestling my head into her shoulder.

"It's okay, Jay. Are you happy with what you have now?"

I shrugged. "I guess. I wish he saw me the way I saw him though. Everything I do, he probably just sees as friendly."

"Jaybird," Kelsey whispered. "You have two options here. Stay or jump. You can stay right where you are and battle these feelings, or take the jump and know if he returns them."

"I don't know what to choose yet, Kels."

"And that's ok." She pulled back and looked at my face. She smiled and pinched my cheeks. "Smile, Bird, you look so sad."

The corners of my mouth slightly lifted. Kelsey nodded and opened the door. We returned to the couch.

Kelsey curled up with Tom and shared little kisses here and there. I sat next to Nathan and he automatically leaned into me. My heartbeat jumped and I tried to stay calm.

Everything was different now.

Then again, was that really a bad thing?