To Learn Compassion

4

'How do you know he's going to be here?'
Jasper slowly pulls in to the curb and parks his car.
'Because I have connections,' he gets out of the car. I think we're being slightly awkward with each other because of the argument. We always argue but it felt like he was really annoyed at me.
I follow closely after him and the seemingly long walk is excruciatingly silent.
'Can we make up?' I suggest and bite down on my lip, grimacing at my choice of words.
Jasper stiffens in front of me and glances behind his shoulder. 'You-,' he looks at me accusingly. His expression then softens and his body relaxes. 'Fine.'
'I don't even know why you were angry in the first place,' I sigh.
'Let's just forget about it, okay?'
'Sure,' I smirk. 'Now let's go kiss some strangers.'
We walk up the lawn to the party house which is already so crowded.
'That's a lot of people,' I hiss to Jasper.
'I don't want to be here for too long.'
'Let's just get drinks first,' I suggest.
We weave in and out of the mass of drunkards and I'm gripping Jasper's arm the whole time. There's no way I'm letting him go in this place. The lights are so low and it's flickering green and white from the cheap strobe lights. In the kitchen the lights are so bright in contrast that I squint as we enter. I'm still holding Jasper's arm and it's so smooth and muscular that my fingers instinctively run over the prominent veins on his forearm.
We pop open two beers and finish them in less than a minute before pouring liquor in the red plastic cups along with Mountain Dew we find unopened in the fridge.
'And why are we drinking again?' Jasper asks as he lifts the drink to his lips.
I'm about to drink but I remove the the can in case choke on the bubbling laughter. 'Free booze is the best kind of booze,' I hold up my cup and he clanks his cup against mine before we it sloshes back in our mouths and we swallow. The burning in my throat makes stiffen and I clench my eyes shut as the sharpness passes. Jasper has a similar expression on his face and I chuckle because it's clear that were not the drinking types.
'You're right,' he shudders. 'That was good.'
'You have nice arms,' I tell him and brush my fingers over his light arm hair. 'How are they so fucking smooth?' I marvel at his smooth golden complexion.
'Thanks, I guess,' he smirks and lifts his arms, flexing to show his biceps and forms. I place my hands on them and they're large like an oversized egg although elongated and smooth under my fingers.
'Nice,' I encourage him.
'You think that's impressive?' A deep voice interjects. Jasper and I both turn to the source. It's another college student, presumably a jock with the way his muscles are bulging under his t-shirt.
Jasper's about to reply but I place my hand on his chest, silencing telling him to leave to me.
'You're clearly proud of yourself,' I smile sourly.
'Unlike your little boy toy, I know how to use the gym.'
I glance at Jasper's basketball oriented body, tall and wide with long slender muscles. I'm actually definite that he can take on this jock.
'I'm sorry for crushing your dreams but,' I face the jock and step towards him. 'The gym isn't going to make your dick any longer, babe.'
He jock's smirk falters and his eyes blink spastically as he looks for a comeback. When he recovers I gasped because his hand clamps on to my waist.
'Why don't I show you, princess?'
His hands make me feel like something disgusting is crawling up my sides and I cringe uncomfortably.
'That's enough,' I hear Jasper. His hand grasps mine and he yanks me to his side.
The jock smirks devilishly and I throw him the most vicious glare I can muster. I can just imagine all the things I would do to rip his disgusting face off.
Jasper is in his face in a second, daring him to react. He's taller than the jock by a few inches and it comforts me but I'm angrier than I would normally be.
I look around the kitchen and my eyes land on a countertop knife block. I storm over and grab the first knife I see. A cleaver. For some reason I see red and I clutch it tightly before stalking back to them.
He has the nerve to insult Jasper like that and then touch me? Then he calls me princess? I'll make him a fucking princess when I cut off his balls.
I shove Jasper to the side and he steps aside when he sees its me.
I grab the jocks lapels with my free hand and hold up the knife dangerously close to his eye.
'Cleo,' Jasper gasps.
'No, Jasper!' I say as I glare at the guy. 'If he makes one move I'm gouging out his fucking eye.'
The jock squints his eyes shut and perspiration rolls down his clammy pale face.
'I know you don't know me,' I hiss. 'But if you ever insult me like that again, I will cut your micro-dick off, princess.'
For extra affect I dare myself to take it further and lightly press the knife in to the side of his head, close to us eye.
He whimpers and cringes away from me.
'Feeling to keep that eye?' I ask.
'I'm sorry!'
'Cleo,' Jasper coaxes me and I feel him closing in on me. I notice that the entire room is watching us and everyone looks absolutely freaked out.
Jasper's body is warm behind me and his hand comes around and take the knife from me. He removes it from the scene and pulls me away by my shoulders.
'Cleo?' A new voice cuts in and I stiffen at the familiarity.
'Richard?' I turn to him and he's glancing between us.
'You good, Mikey?' He asks the jock.
The jock glares at me before stomping off.
'What happened?' Richard asks me and nods at Jasper who throws the knife in to a random cupboard. He looks really good with his blonde straight hair jelled back. It really brings out the hazel in his eyes.
I glance at Jasper who's watching me curiously but I can't quite read what he's thinking.
'He was bullying us,' I claim and fold my arms, directly beside Jasper to show that I'm protecting him, too.
Richard raises his brow at Jasper. 'Jasper subjected to bullying? I'm not buying that,' he chuckles. He's leaning against the counter beside us, looking annoyed at the situation.
'Believe what you want,' Jasper shrugs. 'He started it.'
'So you held a knife to him?' Richard frowns, bemused.
'He was trying to start on Jasper,' I let out a strangled groan. 'I was-,'
'You were what?' Jasper interrupts me and when I look up at him theirs a playful grin on his full lips. 'Protecting me?'
I fight a grin. 'You looked like you needed it.'
'Don't you have a girlfriend, Jasper?' Richard smirks.
Jasper chuckles and glances at me. 'What? You think-,' he gestures to me and him with his finger. 'You think me and Cleo are romantically involved?'
Richard shrugs, silently answering 'yes'.
I burst out laughing because it's just too hilarious. I'm blackmailing this guy. He'll never look at me romantically in his life.
'Believe me,' I slap Jasper's arm. 'That will never happen.'
Richard nods. 'That would make sense. I've never seen you with a guy, Cleo.'
I think this is the most we've ever spoken and the first assumption he makes about me is that he never sees me with any guys? I have no chance with him if I don't change.
Jasper seems to detect my discomfort.
'Are we talking about the same Cleo? I bet she'd kiss any guy or girl in this room.'
I tilt my head up at Jasper. His electric blue eyes meet mine and I smirk. I know what you're doing.
'Oh, really,' Richard huffs. 'I had no idea.'
He looks at me as if he's challenging and it's about time I rise up to it.
'Fine,' I bite down on my lip. 'Pick,' I raise my chin up at him. Then I add as an aftermath 'Anyone.'
'Very well,' he puts his red cup down and glances around. 'What about Pierson?'
My eyes widen. 'Wasn't he just with Rina?' Who knows where his mouth's been.
Richard shakes his head. 'She had an emergency. Kiss him for a whole minute.'
I glance at Jasper and he nods at me subtly. I take one last look at his lips, turn around and approach the boy with the dark hair and flirty eyes. I've only ever kissed Jasper, I don't know how I'll be with someone else.
'Pierson,' I grab his wrist and he faces me.
He looks down at me and I can tell he's a little tipsy. 'Cleo? Tight pussy, Cleo?'
I almost hit him because of his words but I have a mission at hand.
'Kiss me,' I order him and crash my lips to his thinner ones. In his drunken state he submits and his hands hold my face as I apply pressure to his mouth.
He kisses me back and I'd say it's pleasant but I can taste the alcohol and cigarettes on his tongue. He kisses me eagerly and I'd be lying if I say he's a bad kisser. Although his movements are slightly sloppy from the intoxication, he plays with my tongue and I pull away slightly only to bite his bottom lip the way Jasper did to me. He groans and I press my lips to his again. He moans in to my mouth and I kiss him, locking our lips together. The taste of alcohol is no longer bothersome and I find myself enjoying it as his hands drops from my face and pull my closer to his body. His hands travel lower down my back and rest on my ass. He squeezes lightly and I'm bought back to the moment in my room when Jasper's massaged my ass and I felt his hot breath down my neck. My body tingles and I let out an appreciative moan in to Pierson's mouth.
When we pull away, I'm breathless and so is he.
I really just kissed a random person.
'Woah,' he exhales and I step away from him.
'Thanks,' I pat his shoulder twice before heading back to the kitchen.
My lungs finally settle when I enter the kitchen and my eyes meet Jasper's instantly. He's holding a drink to his lips and as he lifts it, his eyes hold mine. I can't tell what he's thinking at all and it bothers me more than I expected it to. He's not smirking but he isn't telling me well done in any way. What's he thinking?
I remember Richard and he's smirking at me with an impressed grin.
'Well, well, well. I forgot to keep check of the time but I think that just passed over a minute. Pierson seemed to enjoy that a hell of a lot.'
I glance back at Pierson who's glancing around confusedly.
'Be careful of him,' Richard chuckles.
'That was fun. He's not a bad kisser.'
'Not bad? He hypes about being amazing.'
'I don't know,' I shrug. 'He was drunk and I was kissing him more, if you get what I'm saying.'
'He's such a girl,' Richard barks a laugh.
I raise a brow at Richard. Such a girl?
'Not the best thing to say to a feminist.' Jasper points out.
'How did you know that?' I ask him.
'You flipped because Mikey called you a princess not because he gripped you up.'
I can't fight the grin breaking out on my face.
'Very analytical of you, Jasper.'
He sips on his drink again, falling silent.
I look away awkwardly. Why is he acting like that?
'Your good company at parties, Cleo,' Richard says. 'I'd like to play again sometime.'
Richard saunters away and takes his drink with him.
I turn to Jasper and poke his arm. 'What's with you?' I scowl.
He shrugs. 'I'm fine.'
'No, you're not. You're acting weird,' I accuse him.
'It's nothing,' he snaps. 'Were done here now, right? I'll drop you home.'
He stands up and leaves the room and I follow behind him quickly. What the fuck is his problem?
As were about to leave the front door and hand grabs my wrist.
I turn to see Pierson, staring at me with his lips parted and slightly swollen.
'Cleo. You just disappeared.'
Before I can reply, Jasper clamps his own hand around mine, snatching it from Pierson.
'Were leaving,' he tugs me and before I can reply to Pierson, I'm being dragged through the front door.
'Jasper,' I yell and pull my arm from him. He turns around and glowers at me. 'Don't drag me around like a fucking doll. What's up with you?'
He growls and grabs the back of his hair, pulling it angrily. 'I may or may not be slightly jealous, alright? You bit his lip and it blew my fucking mind. I did that to you.'
I look away from his face and stare at my tangled fingers. 'Jealous?' I frown. But why? We planned this and he suggested it. It makes no sense. He even taught me the lip bite. Well, not exactly. When he did that it wasn't really a lesson. We were just kissing and he was angry. 'I- I don't know what to say.' I scratch the back of my head awkwardly.
'Nothing. Don't say anything. It's stupid, I don't even like you.'
'Yeah, it's probably like a glitch or something,' I shrug but inside I'm as tense as toffee.
Jasper rolls his eyes. 'Let's just forget I said that. I'm not even mad anymore. You can kiss whoever you want.'
'Yeah, I know,' I go with it and he glances at me with a hard look. I grimace and look away. 'Not a big deal,' I say more to myself.
'Won't happen again,' he responds.
'Cool.'
'Yeah.'
When we get in the car I feel as though we're back to normal.
'But did you see Richard's face?' I gleam and Jasper finally grins.
'Yeah, he was impressed.'
'I've never even had a conversation with him for so long in my life,' I press my palms to my cheeks, feeling hot.
'Seriously? Even though your best friends with his sister?'
'Yeah,' I sigh. 'It went so well, too.'
'Maybe because I was there to lead in the right direction.'
'I got it,' I clap my hands together. 'You're like my good luck charm.'
Jasper scoffs with a grin on his face And starts the engine. 'I won't always be there.'
'Wow, next thing you know I'll be able to have sex with him. Or Pierson.'
'Cleo,' Jasper says in a warning tone. 'I don't need to hear that.'
I laugh awkwardly and looks out the window. 'Sorry, that's insensitive to your unreasonable jealousy.'
'We don't need to talk about it.'
'Whatever suits you,' I smirk, no longer feeling awkward. It's probably better to embrace it rather than act like it never happened.
I didn't expect it at all. He encourages me to kiss Pierson and when I go back to him he's all tense and he can barely say more than a few words to me. Then he snatches my hand out of Pierson's. That was taking it too far. Why on earth would he even be jealous, though? He has a girlfriend, Piper, and his mistress, her mom. He's involved with both of them. Is he jealous over them? If he is then he's just plain selfish and doesn't understand that he can't have everything. I know that there will never be anything between us. His jealousy is based on physical aspects but he internally despises me. Who can ever forgive someone who's blackmailing them? I sure as hell wouldn't. I'd be pissed in to the next century.
I could just delete the pictures and tell him to help me anyway. Would he? I don't even want to consider him not helping me. In fact I don't mind his presence at all. I mean, sure we argue but we get along well, too.
More over, I'm actually very comfortable with my body around him and I don't think I mind at all that he touches me. When he grabbed my backside earlier, I enjoyed it and didn't feel awkward for a second. When he took my top off and I saw his face, I felt happy to see him, relieved.
But if I'm not blackmailing him, then we'd lose our fairly professional ordeal because he'd be less cooperative and I couldn't hold anything over him as leverage. I'm in the business of getting what I want and that's Richard. I'd say I could use anyone else to get to my goal but I'm already so fixed on having Jasper that I want to keep him. Well, for as long as I need him. Once he takes my virginity away, I'll delete the pictures off my phone and we'll part ways like it never happened. I'm fully prepared for that in this glitch that we're having won't be much of a problem once we go off to college and I'll only bump in to him in the hallways.
'Were going to the same college,' I decide to tell him as I look out the window absentmindedly.
'What?' He cries and the car swerved slightly. I sit up and clutch the side of my seat as my heart begins to race.
When we're driving straight again, my heart rate goes back to normal and I'm too shocked to repeat myself.
'You're following me to my college? How long is this blackmail going to continue?'
I glare at him.
'Keep your eyes on the fucking road, Jasper. I'm not following you, it was my first choice. Besides, your a third year, were barely going to see each other, anyway.'
'I swear to god, Cleo,' Jasper says shakily. 'This shit cannot go on in college.'
I roll my eyes to myself, knowing well that he can't see. 'I wasn't planning to. You could take my virginity by the end of the week and I'll be done with you.'
'I thought you wanted me to help you with Richard, too.'
I give him a dry look. 'Yeah, thanks for reminding me.'
Jasper grimaces visibly and doesn't return my stare. 'Unless you no longer need that.'
'No, I need it. You'll help me until I've gained a sure response from Jasper indicating that he's interested.'
'Wait,' Jasper frowns. 'What if you stop liking him?'
I smile knowingly. 'I won't.'
Jasper glances at me and then turns back to the road. 'You're so certain?'
I sigh. 'He's the only guy I've ever been even slightly interested in. I doubt it will change so out of the blue.'
'You never know.'
'Oh, I do. Richard is just cool and he had nice eyes.'
'I'm cool and I have nice eyes,' Jasper adds in,
'But you're not Richard,' I explain.
Jasper glances at me again, this time his expression is flat.
'Bitch.'