Locked Away (GerIta)

Chapter 28

Feliciano knew he was waiting for Romano. He wished his brother would show up and just come talk to the Spaniard, it would do no harm.

~

Feliciano sat on the edge of his bed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as he stood up and paced around his room. He'd picked up the habit while he was here, taking his first puff when Gilbert offered a while ago.

It had been against everything he ever thought was right, it killed people slowly, but now sometimes it felt like the only thing that could calm him down. One little tobacco stick is what had started this whole thing with Ludwig.

The Italian smoked it till his fingers burned and he crushed it out on the sill of his open window, pausing when he heard voices below on the back porch. It was late, everyone was asleep already. Except for Romano and Antonio.

He leaned out a little just to hear more clearly what they were talking about and as they moved closer towards the house, he heard clearer.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I love you, Romano." Antonio tried desperately, like he'd been over this 100 times. "I love you and I miss you and it's been so long a-and... you're here."

"Mio dio, now you're gonna fucking cry. Antonio, please." He scoffed, crossing his arms. "You don't have anything, not here, not in me. Nothing to see or love or like or care for. Nothi-"

Feliciano's eyes widened as he saw Antonio rush forward and shut his brother up with a desperate kiss, holding his face firmly in both hands.

"Shut up..." Antonio kissed him again. "Don't you dare say that."

"Get.. Get off!" Romano pushed him back a little but the Spaniard stayed close. "Stop it!"

"Romano, what happened?" Antonio asked with a sob. "Why won't you let me..? Why won't you let me love you? What changed?"

Romano swallowed hard and turned away from him, anxious tears stinging behind his eyes. He let out a bitter laugh and let the tears slip down his cheeks.

"What changed? What fucking changed?" He spat, shaking his head with a forced smile. "Everything! Everything changed!"

Antonio gripped the younger man's shoulders gently and looked at him sadly, trying to understand.

"You knew me before all this shit." Romano croaked out. "Before, when I was strong and important. Now I've been degraded, beaten and captured by them even though I've escaped, they still have pieces of me. I was supposed to keep Feliciano safe..." He mumbled.

Feliciano frowned as a pain started up in his chest, listening closely.

"We moved there to get away, so he wouldn't have to be forced to do what he hated. He didn't want to be in the resistance so I left everything behind to make him happy. And then he got wrapped up in some German but I couldn't do anything because he was in love." Romano looked down "I dragged him into the mission again and I failed, I got arrested, I had to leave him behind."

"Romano..."

"At least back home, I could work and be of value. Have worth." He whispered. "I can't do anything without fucking up. So I just... I just fix cars."

Antonio pressed a long, sweet kiss to his forehead and then pulled him into a gentle hug, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his nose into his hair.

Feliciano watched as his brother held him back and he inhaled sharply, leaning back inside and shutting his window as he felt a squeeze around his heart.

Romano had left everything for him; their home, family, Antonio. He dropped everything and ran away with Feliciano so he could have a shot at happiness. Now that it'd gone downhill, he knew Romano was riddled with guilt.

Feliciano sat on the edge of his bed and shook his head. God, was he ever grateful that Romano had done that. But, he wanted Romano to be happy again as well, have his own life back.

It would take time but, at least Romano had all the pieces to make it work.

Feliciano always felt the absent piece missing, everyday. That sharp stab in the chest, the pounding headache, the tears that wouldn't come.

I miss you.

~

To be continued...