Baptized. (a Seth Rollins Fanfic)

Chapter 21.

Chapter Twenty-one.

Please, Don't Do This.

Macy's POV.

I cautiously unwrapped it, tearing the cardboard box open. On top was a letter written on pink paper. I put it aside to read later.

Inside, there were three onesies, three pairs of tiny pants, three pairs of tiny shoes, a few flower bows, a pink floral blanket, and a cell phone shaped teething toy.

"Babe, what's all this?" Colby asked, cradling a sleeping Madi to his chest.

"Uh, it's from Mike." I replied, looking over the package once more.

"He sure has balls. He's not going to hurt you, I swear Mace, I won't let him." Colby said in a deep voice, as he placed Madi in her swing and turned it on.

I sat down at the bar with the pink piece of paper, and started reading the letter to myself.

"Dear Madi. My God, where has time gone? I cannot believe you're already one. I know you won't understand all of this now, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I've ruined all my chances of being a father, the kind of father you deserve. I've missed so much of your life because I was too intoxicated to see how important you were to me. I can never fix that, I know I can't, but I want you to know that I'll always love you. I've heard you've got a really good Daddy in your life now, and I hope he's the father you need, the father I couldn't be for you. I know Mommy and Colby will take great care of you. Maybe, when you get older, I'll be able to tell you this in person. If not, I love you so much Madi, and I hope you have a wonderful life. Love, your first Daddy. Now Macy, turn to the next page."

With tears flowing heavily down my face, I flipped over this pink paper.

"Hey Macy. I know you probably think I'm lying, and I totally understand. I just want to apologize for everything I've done to you. I couldn't even count the times you should've let me die, instead of saving my stupid ass like you always did. You're the reason I'm alive and I'll forever be thankful for you. When you finally left me, I truly realized what I had, and also realized I'd just lost the best thing I've ever had. I would never ask you to take me back, because I know you're happy, but all I ask it that you forgive me. I know that's a lot to ask, and I'd understand if you don't want to.  I just don't want to go through this life knowing you still hate me, which you should. I never told you enough how much I loved you, and I will love you until the day I die. If you ever feel like meeting up, my number is the same, so is my Skype name. I'd love to see the two of you and meet Colby, but if not, I hope you have an amazing life, because you deserve it more than anyone. Much admiration, Michael Derek."

I was crying so hard I couldn't see straight. Colby held my body close as every tear I could possibly cry left my eyes. Once I finally stopped crying, I pulled back to look at Colby in the eyes.

"You ever wanted to believe someone so bad, even though they've put you through Hell? Even when they don't deserve it, you still want to give them the benefit of the doubt?" I asked, trying to control my emotions.

"No, I can't say I have, so I can't say I understand. Macy, I can see you're hurting. What can I do?" Colby asked, pushing my hair out of my face.

"I'm not sure. I'm so conflicted. Part of me wants to trust him and let him back like always, but the other part knows how he is and that I can't trust him, not yet." I stated, letting out a long breath.

Colby grabbed my hand firmly, but not hurting me, and pulled me outside to the back porch.

"You aren't really thinking about letting him near you or Madi, are you?" He asked softly, sighing deeply.

"I don't know, Colby, I don't know. While you were gone today, I kept thinking how I wished situations were different. I know he's been a terrible father, but it still hurts to know he's missed such a huge milestone for her." I mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Macy, you've lost your mind! Would you rather be with him now? He writes you one letter and you want to go running back? Is that it?" Colby uttered, his entire facial expression changing to pain.

"My God, Colby, can you not jump to conclusions? If I wanted him, I never would've left him in the first place! I want you, more than anyone else, all I'm saying is it doesn't have to be this way! Maybe, we can all live civil and be a family for Madi." I sighed deeply, pushing my hand into my pockets.

"I do not support this decision, Macy, I don't want you near him." Colby said sternly, crossing his arms.

"Colby, I love you, but she's my daughter and it's my decision. I'm not saying he can jump right back into our lives, because he can't. If he's EVER going to be around, he HAS to prove himself. He at least deserves a damn Skype call or something. That won't hurt us or expose us." I explained, taking his hand.

"You do what you've gotta do. If that's what you want, do it." He uttered under his breath, pulling his hand away and breaking eye contact.

My heart ached. I never wanted to upset him. I truly hated putting Colby through this, but I had to make this decision, for Madi and myself. 

"Colby, the last thing I wanted to do today was upset you. I cannot imagine how hard this is. But please try to see where I'm coming from as I try to do the same. Baby, I can't do this life without you , not anymore. I hate it that you're upset with me." I sighed, slightly pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I'm not upset at you, Macy, it's just a whole lot to take in. As much as this kills me, I understand that I have no leverage in this, and we'll go home and call him." Colby said, wrapping me in a huge hug. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"I love you so much, Colby, thank you." I whispered, placing my lips on his, then gently tugging on his lip with my teeth.

"Let's just go home and get this over with, together." He said, smiling wildly.

All I could do was smile. No matter what life threw at us, we'd get through it, together.