the sound, settle down [mashton af]

// w h e n w e w e r e y o u n g p a r t 2 //

when we were young, part 2, february 2019

Michael was never really a rebellious child. He didn't do hardcore drugs, he wasn't pregnant, he was usually where he was supposed to be with the person he was supposed to be with.

It's hard to stay like that when he's dating Ashton.

He snuck out the kitchen back door a few minutes past 1 in the morning. Mike locked it behind him before making sure the key was safe in his pocket.

If he went back through the garage, his parents would hear. He would be screwed.

Ashton was idling in his car across the street, unlocking the doors as Michael got closer. He leant in as Mike left him a quick peck on the cheek before driving out of Michael's neighborhood.

"How're you feeling?" Michael asked, knowing Ashton has missed a few days for illness.

"Awful," the older boy responded. He got onto the highway, driving towards their place. The pier was a boardwalk over a lake, Ashton and Michael would spend hours hanging over the edge talking about their future. They had so many dreams for their life together.

"Aw," Michael cooed, wishing he could make it better.

The 15-year-old reached over, holding out his hand until Ashton entwined their fingers together. The brunette smiled before focusing back on the road.

Michael was lost in thought and Ashton was overall lost.

They made it to their spot, both of them getting to the edge and letting their feet hang over. Ashton set out his arm, knowing Michael would be quick to follow and cuddle into his arm.

Michael did just that. He laid on his side and leant his head on Ashton's chest. He reached his arm over, gripping onto Ashton's tee shirt. He closes his eyes and listens to the sound of the night.

"So, I think we've gotta talk about something," Ashton says softly. He reaches his fingers down to Michael's spine, rubbing circles into the skin.

Mike looks up at Ashton but Ash doesn't look back.

"So," he started again, trying to force the words out of his mouth. He's been planning this for a week now, he's had this entire conversation one million times with one million different outcomes. Everything feels so difficult, right now, right here.

He can't get words out of his mouth. All the practice in his head isn't any help for right now. Ashton is never afraid of anything. He had no fear until Michael came around.

Losing Michael was his biggest fear.

"I'm pregnant, Michael."

This is the part where Michael's world falls apart. He can't feel his lungs and he's positive he's not breathing. He can feel his heart ricocheting throughout his body, though. His body kicks into full-blown panic mode and he begins breathing too fast, his head losing pressure as he stares blankly into the lake in front of them.

"Michael, say something."

He shakes his head. "I can't," he gasps.

Ashton pushes Michael onto his back then sits him up, putting his hands on either sides of Michael's face and forcing the younger boy to look at him. "Michael, it's fine. I'm gonna get rid of it."

Mike's bottom lip is quivering as he focuses on Ashton. He breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth, in through the nose and out through the mouth, in through the nose and out through the mouth. "Okay."

"It's fine," Ashton says with a smile on his lips, he's not sure who he's trying to comfort—Michael or himself. "I just wanted to let you know."

Mike nods once more, still mentally sobbing. His eyebrows are furrowed as he's trying to focus on his lover.

"Do you want me to drive you home now?" Ashton asked, hoping Michael would say no. He needed his boyfriend right now. He needed his other half to hold him and promise him that whatever choice they make will be the right one.

"Yeah," Michael says instead.

Ashton stands up, holding out his hand and helping Michael up. It was only minutes at their spot and it wasn't enough.

Mike rests his arm low on Ashton's back as he rests his head on Ashton's shoulder. "I'm scared," he responds with shaky breaths.

Ashton lets out a quick laugh into the cold air. "You have no reason to be scared, Michael." Ash opens up the passenger seat door of his car, getting Michael situated.

He rounds the car and sits in the front seat.

Michael shrugs as Ashton begins to pull out. All of his answers are delayed. Michael is always thinking and never reacting.

"It's going to be fine," Ashton whispers into the night. His façade is gone as he lets out a sigh. He's been processing all of this for a good week or so now, he believes that he knows what Michael is going through.

Michael is a perfect kid, though. He's an honor roll student, he's his parents' dream, he's pretty, he's funny, he's perfect. Michael doesn't make mistakes, he didn't start making mistakes until Ashton came around.

Ashton reaches over and grabs Michael's hand, "Can you breathe?"

Mike nods, his shaky breath muttering a, "Kind of."

Ashton pulls up their entwined hands to his mouth and presses a long kiss to the back of Michael's hand. He keeps his eyes on the road, watching the quiet highway around them. "I love you, Mikey."

"I love you more."

Ashton drops Michael at home, making sure he gets in before he drives off. Ashton cries as he drives home. He can't help it as he stares at all the passing headlights and cries.

He gets home and lays in his bed, his empty, glassy eyes staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom.

He takes one last peak at his phone as he gets ready to call one stressful night to an end.

From / Mikey

I want you to keep it.

Whatever it is, I want it.

I want to make a life with you, I'm ready for this.