the sound, settle down [mashton af]

// s e v e n //

Well I know when you're around cause I know the sound/ I know the sound, of your heart

Michael sometimes feels bad for his son. He knows that the other kids silently judge his existence when he walks in with his father. They're fifteen years apart. Tim's best friend's two brothers are fifteen years apart.

Mike knows this because he sees it. He sees all the mothers dressed to the par staring at the duo. He sees them lean into their friends, pointing their long, manicured fingers in the duo's direction.

Today, though, he feels a little worse.

Michael, Ashton, and their social worker named Madeline sits in the stands of Timothy's soccer game. Ashton's vibe is a little messy in a beat up grey sweater and ripped skinny jeans. All the mothers are, like said earlier, dressed to the par.

Even at nine in the morning, they have their khaki slacks and checkered sweaters. Their bleached blonde hair straightened to straw. Michael never got along with those women.

Even in his own pair of khakis and navy blue sweater with a button up underneath, he never fit in with them. He never really tried, though.

Ashton leans closer to Michael, "Do you hear them, too?"

He nodded, looking over at the team-moms. "They're always like that."

Ash can remember when Tim was little and they'd take him out in public, he remembers everyone staring at the family like they were from another planet. They were young, but they made it all work. They were happy, oh God, they were happy.

Michael tries not to be mad at Ashton for something the boy can't control. It's hard, though. Ashton isn't what Michael is used to. Michael is used to million dollar houses and wine tasting Friday nights. He's used to hundred dollar ties and heated driveways. It's the little luxuries that Michael has gotten used to.

He can't remember being poor and living in a four hundred square foot apartment. He can't remember barely being able to pay the bills. He can't remember any of that, but Ashton never stopped living it.

Ash fidgets in his seat and tries to watch the game. He's uncomfortable and he can sense Michael's annoyance.

"How long has Tim played soccer?" Ashton asked his ex-lover, trying to make conversation. He wanted to drown out the whispers of the Kate Spade loving women two rows behind them.

"When you were pregnant with him, you always joked that he was going to be a soccer player because of all the kicking. Remember that?" Michael rhetorically asked. "When he turned six, I signed him up for the toddler soccer sessions at the nearby rec. He's never missed a season."

Ashton remembers that moment. Tim was a real kicker when Ashton was pregnant with him. Ash wasn't really sure if it was normal, he was the only kid in their school that was pregnant, he wasn't on talking terms with his parents.

He barely remembers his mother being pregnant with his younger siblings, he doesn't remember them kicking so much. There were so many sleepless nights that Michael had to deal with cranky Ashton. He did it, though, they both did.

"That's really cute," Ashton cooed. He put his hands between his own thighs, trying to keep the tips of his fingers warm. It wasn't too cold in September, but Ashton was always cold.

"This is his first year on varsity. He's the smallest and youngest and the only freshman. I think it gets to him sometimes."

Ashton looked out on the field, Tim was left hand defense. He was rather short for his age, but Michael was really short at fourteen, too. "He's cute," Ash lowered his voice, "Like you."

Mike smiled, not verbally responding.

Michael wasn't embarrassed by Ashton anymore. Michael felt a lot of things for Ashton—mostly things he couldn't understand—but embarrassed wasn't one of them. He was glad to feel a little less alone in this big world. 

Do you want Michael and Ashton to fall back in love? Or, do you think it's better for them to stay separate?

Do you think Ashton will have his way? Will Michael realize he's being used?

I'm working two shows this weekend, will I cry? Probably.