Chapter 18

238 4 0

by TRAPSOULBIEBS

by TRAPSOULBIEBS

Lydia's POV //

"Are you sure you'll be okay ? She'll be there. Baby I don't have go if you don't want me too." Matthew rubbed the my arms as he looked me in the eyes. His hair was nicely done up and he was dressed in a nice black suit, while I on the other hand was dressed in nothing but a loose crop top and underwear.

"You can't just not go. You were invited, just stay away from her, and it should be fine." I smiled before pecking his soft pink lips.

"I love you so much." He rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you so much. Drive safe. If Im asleep when you get home, Im sorry." He kissed my forehead before heading out the door. I made my way to the couch, turning the music up.

Matthew was always invited to something I wasn't and even when I was invited there was no point in me going. Im not the same person I used to be and everyone knows that everyone can tell. Im just changed all around. Im better but at the same time am I really much better than I used to be ?

Matthew was going to a party with some people I hardly even care to remember the names of. But of course she was going to be there. The one person Matthew had ruined me for was going to be there, Bella. But I dont have the right to stop him. Not after all the damage I had caused us.

The thought of him being around Bella made me sick to my stomach. After all the people in the world, I'd rather not even let the thoughts cross my mind as much as they were.

But can you imagine how bad it hurts to know the one person you've given everything to just threw it away as if it meant nothing ??

Matthew's POV //

By the time I had arrived I already wanted to turn my ass back around and go home to my baby. Just the thought of Lydia laying in bed letting her mind hurt her broke me.

As I walked in I spoke to a few of my old friends, drank a little bit and then sat down. I wanted to stay, well not really, but I just knew something wasn't right.

I wanted to leave and just as I was about to, I saw her from the corner of my eye. Bella, sitting by a man in a black suit similar to mine. She was leaning into him, she looked happy. I was happy for her. Yet apart of me was sad, I couldn't believe all the things I had put her and Lydia through. Both of them were nice girls I just ruined. What was the point in doing that? I have no idea anymore.

Bella was beautiful but she was never Lydia. And even though Lydia is hard to love I can't imagine ever being in love with Bella the way I am Lydia. I wanted to love Bella. I made Lydia out to be someone she never was and never could be. I wanted myself to hate her so I could love Bella but I just couldn't. I tried so hard but my heart ached, I will always love Lydia.

I made my way out to my car and drove home as quickly as possible. I just wanted to be with Lydia and hold her and appreciate her.

"Baby ??" My voice echoed through our quiet home. The lights were all on except for the one in our bedroom.

When I walked in the room Lydia was practically shaking with fear, her eyes tightly closed and her body was practically thrashing all around the bed. Her nightmares were back again. My heart broke as I heard her cry out, "Why do you keep doing this to me?"

She said that the night I broke her. The night I took every hateful word I could possibly think of and I ruined her.

I shook her sweaty body until she was awake. She looked at me wide eyed and scared. My heart was falling to pieces. Why did I do this to her?

"Im sorry I was having a bad dream and I dont' know. I need you." She hugged me into her. I was holding her as best as I could as I rubbed her back, kissing her forehead.

Why did I ever hurt her? I made her out to be so toxic but in reality I am the toxic one. I ruined her. Why?

-------------------------------------------------------

Wasssuppp im back. ill try to do my best with this & finish. Thanks to everyone commenting, & shiz. I love y'all

Hailey