Chapter 12

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by TRAPSOULBIEBS

by TRAPSOULBIEBS

Lydia's POV

I had never really done an interview by myself but I guess people were really interested in me coming back and well where I went.

"So Lydia, where were you for so long ? And why did you go into hiding ? We asked your brother but he wouldn't tell us."

"Well I was in Chicago. I was taking acting classes, I also was just living a normal life. I worked in a small cafe and just tried to rebuild myself. I left because I was having such a hard time in the spot light. My brother was extremely famous and so was my ex boyfriend Matthew. I was in the middle of it all. I was doing my own thing with them. And I couldn't handle it anymore. The lies, the media, the fans, and just everything was tearing down my self-esteem. I hated myself and just everything that had me in it. So I left to reinvent myself."

"Matthew ? As in Matthew Espinosa ?"

"Yeah we started dating from when I was fifteen until I was about to be eighteen."

"Oh yes. I remember. Do you still talk to him ?"

"Once in a while yeah. I like to check up on him. He's someone Ill always love and respect. I feel like its kinda my job to make sure he's okay. We had such a great bond and such a strong relationship, I feel as though no matter what that bond will never go away. "

"Is it hard to see him with someone else ?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. It really sucks and everything but Im really glad to see him happy. We've been through so much and to see him progressing so well is amazing. We both are working really hard to better ourselves."

"Thats amazing. You're such a strong young woman. The future is bright for you."

"Thank you so much."

"You know I feel like you and Justin Bieber would be great friends. You both seem to have a lot in common with your passions, with your recent heart breaks, with your music, with the media tearing you both apart."

"Oh well, me and Justin are actually great friends. We talk a lot when we aren't busy. He's a really nice guy and is so talented. He's not much older than me but he has seen and been through so much so he always gives great advice. While I was in Chicago there was a night I got so messed up in my feelings, I didn't have anyone. So I called up Justin who just happened to be in town. He came over to my apartment and we just talked about everything. He's truly a great guy. But the media was trying to make him into a monster when in reality they don't know him. They don't know me. "

"Thats very true. Im glad you spoke on this. Alright well thats all we have time for. Thank you so much Lydia for joining us today. Hope to see you back soon."

I gave the interviewer a hug and headed back stage. Cameron sat back stage with our mom and handed me a bundle of roses.

"Aw thank you guys !" I smiled giving Cameron a hug then my mom.

"You're welcome. You did absolutely amazing. C'mon lets go have lunch." Cameron walked us to the car.

----

After lunch I headed home and went up to my apartment. Once I walked in Matthew was standing in my living room.

"What're you doing here ?" I asked as I started taking off my heels.

"I love you. I love you and Im not happy without you." He blurted out stepping closer to me.

"Matthew, you need to go. You're with Monica and Im not getting in the way of that. She seems to really like you. You started a new life, don't stop it because Im back."

"I only started a new life because you left ! You left me. You left me here all by myself to pick up all the pieces. I probably look so stupid for coming back to you because you're the one who broke me. You acted like you were the only one dying but so was I Lydia ! And you didn't even care. All you cared about was yourself. You just left me."

He was drunk. It was only twelve in the afternoon and he was completely drunk. I could smell the alcohol on his tongue. The way his eyes were blood shot and his speech was slurred.

"Matthew, sweetie come to the guest bedroom. C'mon." I draped one of his arms around my shoulder and helped him stumble into the bed.

"God you're so pretty." He whispered falling asleep. I watched him for a couple of moments, stroking his hair before I went an grabbed a water of bottle and some advil.

For some reason, I realized maybe I didn't love Matthew. Maybe I just loved the feeling. The feeling of being loved and cared about. And I didn't need that anymore. I loved myself enough. I loved myself that I didn't crave the affection anymore. I finally was able to say I loved myself. And thats all I need.