Olivia // l.t.

Chapter 23

Olivia

Right now would be the time where I say it back. I opened my mouth but no words came out. What were we even talking about before this?

My heart was beating wildly in my chest. Louis was staring at me, not expectantly but more worried.

"Look, I don't expect you to say it back right away." He spoke finally, and I probably looked like I wanted to curl into a ball and die, because I did.

"Louis I'm so sorry." My first initial instinct was to apologize, his however, was to smile.

"Come here." he stuck his arms out as if he was coaxing a child to come to him. I obliged, burying my face into his shoulder.

"Are you upset?" I whispered and he chuckled. "No, I just don't want you to think that I would ever expect you to reciprocate feelings you don't have."

I do have them, I wanted to say. 

"Thank you." I mumbled instead.

"Olivia!" Caileigh snapped, and I jumped, startled. "What?" I asked harshly, not intending to sound as rude as I did.

She sighed. "Sorry, you just zoned out on me."

Cails had been acting strange ever since I had dinner with Louis' family. I was hoping that today she would finally give up the info that was driving her insane.

"Oh for the love of God, Please tell me what is making you so weird." I was tired of the stalling.

She sighed. "I saw Louis with a girl the other day." She blurted it out so quickly, and I found myself laughing.

"Caileigh, he can have girl friends, plus it may have been one of his sisters." She shook her head. "No Liv you don't understand." She bit her lip.

"Explain." I demanded.

"I know that it was Holly." She said barely above a whisper.

I felt like I was frozen. He would have told me, I trust him, and he would have told me. "No, it wasn't her." I said, panic beginning to set in.

Cails bowed her head not meeting my eyes. "That's not the biggest issue Liv." I narrowed my eyes. "What did you see?" I was growing antsier by the second.

"I don't know the whole story, I just know what I saw.  Then Niall acted so touchy about it, and you said Louis showed up drunk, but really—"Cails what did you see." I was growing impatient.

"She was holding his hands, I couldn't really see his face, but she seemed a lot happier than she should." Caileigh looked distraught.

All I could feel was betrayal. "Are you sure it was him?" I asked, my voice failing me. She nodded solemnly.

"I could recognize him from a mile away." I could feel the blood pumping in my ears as I stood to my feet walking across my living room.

"Liv," Cails called in a warning tone, but I ignored her. I snatched my laptop off of my desk, and opened it violently.

"Liv," Cails repeated worry evident in her tone. "Be quiet." I snapped and she whimpered.

I would regret that later, but I was too angry to care right now. I was livid, hurt, but worst of all I was jealous.

I felt all of the walls I had slowly been letting down snap back into place. Only this time they were higher and much stronger.

My fingers flew across the keyboard in an anger fueled venting session. All kind and loving words quickly turned to hatred and malice.

"Liv maybe you should talk to him." Caileigh whispered. I took my hands off the keyboard and looked at her.

She was right of course. I should talk to him. I was definitely overreacting. There was a possibility it wasn't even him, there was also the probability this was a huge misunderstanding.

Then I remembered, that this has happened to me before, I've had someone I really care about kick me to the side for someone else, someone better. Then I just got angrier, and typed faster.

"Talk to him?" My voice was sickeningly soft, I was honestly afraid of myself at this moment. She nodded, a terrified look on her face.

"I am." I hissed as I continued to type, not bothering to check my grammar as I went.

Harry is probably going to fire me. I had been doing so well, Louis really had been bringing out the best in my writing, Lola had been a lot nicer recently. Not anymore. 

I didn't care at this point, I was doing what I do best. I was writing an article, about how I felt, and crossing my fingers I wouldn't lose my job because of it.

As soon as I signed Lola's name at the bottom. I felt a heavy feeling on my chest, the exact opposite of relief.

Then I cried. I cried so hard that Caileigh pulled me into her chest just so my sounds of literal physical pain could be muffled.

I fisted the fabric of her shirt as I felt myself completely falling apart. My strong, put together facade melting away, just like my makeup.

How could he tell me he loved me when he had just been with her no less than twenty four hours before? Why didn't he tell me he was with her, he always tells me things.

Why didn't he just tell me about being with her. What did he do that drove him to drinking. Why didn't Niall let him stay long enough to say what his drunken thoughts wanted him to say? 

So many questions ran through my mind, I was starting to get a stress headache. 

"Did you publish what you just wrote?" She whispered and I nodded sniffling. "May I read it?" she asked reaching over my limp body for the computer.

I sat there in silence as she read. She gently stroked my hair, and it brought me a small amount of comfort.

"I think this is the most terrifyingly bitter article you--" she cleared her throat, "Lola has ever written." Her tone was flat, and extremely disappointed.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, letting myself fall apart once again. She closed my computer, pulling me close and holding me tightly.

For hours we sat like this. We didn't talk, and I gained a whole new level of respect for her. 

Eventually she made sure that I got into bed,even going the extra mile to tuck me in. That made me crack a weak smile.

I sent Harry an email claiming to be sick. I was taking the day off tomorrow.

Then as Cails left me alone, I curled up in a ball and cried again. As my tears flowed I felt myself growing weary.

I cried because I thought Louis was different. I cried because that article would probably make me lose my job.

But I mostly cried because I had hoped he really meant it when he said he loved me.

Then I cried because I was wrong. 

A/N: Okay I know it's been FOREVER, but between school getting out, and vacation last week I've had the worst case of writers block ever. So I apologize if this chapter isn't the best it can be, it was mainly a filler anyway. I'll probably go back and edit some of this later. However, now that this is out of the way I can continue on with the rest of my ideas. Please vote and comment. I love the feedback!