Olivia // l.t.

Chapter 7

Olivia

"...Men are always complaining 'not all guys are the same, don't compare me to someone else' you know the lines. However, once you've put your guard up it takes a lot more time and effort to tear it down. I know I have mine up. Love yourself, the rest will follow. - Lola"

I closed my laptop, it wasn't my best work, but I was done, and that was the last thing on my to do list.

I found myself lying in my bed staring out the window since I had the day off, it was my long weekend to be exact. Having no work to do was a rare phenomenon for me, and I didn't take it well.

The magazine had become my life. I hadn't quite noticed, but when I wasn't working on my columns or editing everyone else's I realized I was quite lonely.

I sighed watching the early morning sunbeams dance across the buildings. I found myself thinking back to my college years, my heart wrenching at the realization every single memory had Zayn in it.

I was nearing twenty six years old, and here I was still letting what had happened to me years ago practically dictate my life.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy. I have a great job, supportive friends, my mom calls every once and a while to check on me. I don't know if she truly cares, but at least she pretends to be proud of me in some aspects.

Since I had opened up to Caileigh she had been more than helpful, she knew exactly what to say to make me feel a little less pathetic.

As I stared at the wall I thought back to a few days ago, when we had a good old fashioned heart to heart.

"You know, it is okay that you aren't over him." she told me as we ate lunch in my office. "I once had a boyfriend that I cried over for three months straight." she said her mouth full of salad.

I gave her a small smile. "I am over him Cails, It's what he did that haunts me." I made a note to myself that would be a good topic to cover in an article. 

"So it really was completely out of the blue?" she asked curiously. "You didn't have any suspicions?"

I tilted my head in thought. Zayn and I were the type of couple who could be together all the time, but also we took time to ourselves. 

We liked different things, but we also enjoyed doing new things together.

I had shaken my head. "No, none." she chewed on the end of her fork. "I have so many questions." she eased in, and I smiled. "Okay I'll answer them all."

Her eyes had widened as she leaned forward in her seat. "Every single one?" she asked and I nodded. Her enthusiasm never failing to shed some positivity into my life.

"For us to be best friends we suck at knowing things about each other." she complained, and I rolled my eyes. "Caileigh come on, we don't have all day."

"How many boyfriends have you had?" she fired, and I sighed. "Define boyfriend?" I asked genuinely, and she groaned. 

"A real boyfriend, not just a few dates, not a hook up, an exclusive we are in a relationship couple deal." she specified and I shrugged. "Two."

She gave me a look as if to say who. "Zayn, for three and a half years, and a guy in high school for like six months." I specified. "How many, non boyfriends?" I bit my lip. I hated this question.

"I don't know." I answered honestly, and she crossed her arms. "General estimated guess." I rubbed my fingers on my temples.

"A lot." I grumbled, and she huffed. "Liv, seriously, it is just us, I'm not going to judge you." I felt sick to my stomach. "Hundreds." She smirked, and I covered my face.