Morphine

twenty two : curious but betrayed

"So I assume you have a plan?" says Chase.

We stand outside the Birmingham airport with our bags at our feet. The fresh early morning breeze hits me in the face as I cover my ears with the hood of my pullover. A broken sense of nostalgia brings incomprehensible tears to my eyes. Why do I miss a place so much when I never lived there to begin with? The fact that my family is now ripped apart and relocated to different continents invites a whole new wave of guilt and anger. No matter how much anyone assures me, all this will always be my fault even though I want to blame Dad. I stare at the empty streets with a few passengers walking around trying to catch a taxi or a bus. It's not yet morning, although the light is starting to filter through the clouds.

Chase nudges me and raises an eyebrow. I recall his question and say, "We'll go visit my father first."

"And he won't stop you because...?"

That halts me for a moment. I wanted to visit dad and tell him my plan, which is starting to look extremely bleak, hoping I would garner some help from him. But now I realise that my Dad has no reason to help me but every reason to stop me.

"We won't tell him that I'm going to help break Zahid out of prison. We'll just say that I needed a break from America and you volunteered to come with me." He can probably hear the falter in my voice but I don't care.

"That's a shitty plan, Meira." Chase whistles through his teeth.

I pick up our bags and start walking towards a taxi waiting near-by. "That's all I have. If you've got a better one, now is the time."

He doesn't say a word. He speaks to the taxi driver and gives him the address. I remember that Chase has lived here longer than I have and knows the route to my house. Inside the taxi, he holds my hand and we don't speak.

*

Once the taxi stops in front of my house, we stand at the gate instead of going inside. The lights are switched off, everyone on the street is sound asleep. It seems peaceful. I can't bring myself to go inside. Now I completely doubt my plan and the fear hits. What a stupid plan. Why did I ever think it would work? I am the most inexperienced, unaware person to do anything like this, especially since I don't know how most things work.

"We're already here, babe. Let's just see it through." He walks towards the door. "Stop thinking about it so much."

I knock once and step away. We wait for a couple of seconds and nothing happens. Chase knocks and it sounds like he's banging the door. I pull him away. He shrugs. "He's probably sleeping. How else is he supposed to hear you?"

When Dad opens, it doesn't look like he's slept in weeks. "Hi Dad." I smile hesitantly.

"Hello, Mr Esmund." Chase has the energy to sound cheerful. I don't understand how.

He blinks. "Meira?" He glances at us both and pulls us inside aggressively. He looks out the door and locks the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to visit you."

He looks taken aback. "You wouldn't have to do that if you still lived here." He says defensively.

"Are you blaming me? It was Mum's idea, not mine." I huff out exasperatedly.

He just turns around and walks inside the living room. Chase takes our bags and drops them inside the room. He then settles himself on the sofa as Dad switches on the lights.

"You look like crap Mr Esmund." Chase notices.

My Dad cracks a little smile at that. "Good to see you Chase."