Love Until It Hurts (Monteverde Series 4)

35

            "Don't yell at me!"

            "Then, stop contradicting me!"

            "I won't stop until you promise me that you won't—"

            "Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap para sa akin ito?" He suddenly burst. I felt the depth of his anguish, his despair, his ire, when he stared at me. Those penetrating black eyes seemed to see through the broken fragments of my soul.

            "Hindi mo alam, Sam. You don't have even the slightest idea of how much the idea of you being dead has hurt me. You never knew how hard it was to go through those years thinking you were gone permanently. You didn't know how I tried to push myself everyday to just merely exist, because I believed that I can never live through all the heartaches anymore. You didn't know how tormented I was knowing I can never have you back, knowing I will never know what really happened before you passed away..." His voice cracked. He scratched his chin and a laugh, a hollow one, came reverberating all around us. "They tell me I'm not dying, but I know that it was a lie. They said the pain won't kill me," he whispered. "And physically? It didn't. But mentally? I was all bones and decaying flesh."

            Tears were brimming on his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling to prevent them from falling down his cheeks, but the effort was futile. Thick hot droplets rolled down his face and continued to flow to his neck, until everything disappeared into his polo.

            "I hated how everyone told me the pain isn't going to kill me, but deep down, I'm already six feet under." His voice was broken, his eyes dead, body completely still.

            A massive lump instantly appeared on my throat. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya, pakiramdam ko ay sumisingaw ang lahat ng sakit na pinagdaanan niya. The air around us suddenly felt toxic.

            "Kaya masisisi mo ba ako? Masisisi mo ba ako na ngayong nandito ka na ay gusto kong pagbayarin ang taong dahilan ng pagkawala mo? He will die slowly in my hands, but no kind of death would be worse than the one I already experienced. I have experienced dying with my blood still flowing and my heart still beating."

            Lumapit siya sa akin at sinapo ang pisngi ko. His eyes were so intense, so so intense.

            "Sam..." he called. "Having you here with me is like having my second shot at life."

            ***

Mico

            It was a hot sunny day and I spent it by tailing Celine. Nagngingitngit ang kalooban ko habang nakatingin ako sa kanila ni Zade.

            How dare he touch my wife like that?

            How dare he smile at her as if he didn't cause her enough misery?

            I wanted to blow my cover and just surge forward, so I could tackle him to the ground and strangle him until he puffs his last breath. I wanted to stick a knife on his side and watch him bleed profusely in front of me.

            I kept my head bent low as I forced myself to drink from the glass the waitress had just put on top of the table. I was seething. I could explode right now.

            I looked over my shoulder and eyed the stupid bodyguards with a sarcastic smirk. They were easy to fool, easy to hide from. They were buff dimwits in black trousers. I just had to put prosthetics on my face, green contact lenses, a dark blonde wig above my head, a fake scar, freckles and they already could not recognize me. Hell, they even let me eat at the same damn restaurant she's in.