the Doctor is IN [6] (mxm bdsm)

Five

"Can I put the other candle on the table?" he asked out of the blue. He had prepared the salad and I'd sent him back to the living room while I fried up the pork chops.

"Why?" Sometimes I wished I could get inside his head to figure things out but most times I was glad I couldn't; it must be scary in there.

"Because I want you to be comfortable Sir and I'd really prefer if you didn't hide it away."

"It looks better this way."

"Not to anyone in the house right now Sir."

I really wasn't sure exactly how he'd worked his way so deeply into my head. When had I told him about that? He had ways of extracting information from me in little chunks and I was constantly surprised by how well he understood me and how much he remembered. He had no reason to lie about it. "If you wish."

He brought it out and arranged them, stepping back to admire his work. "Better. Um, can I ask a question? I guess it's not really a question it's... well I kind of expected to go into the Den when I got here and I've spent the past two hours trying to figure out why and then I realized that maybe it counted as sex?"

"Kevin thought you would tie them together and I didn't feel like having a discussion about it so I went with his version of your thoughts about the subject."

"That's unfair to you though Sir, to not..."

"It's much easier on me if you finish your thoughts. It's hard enough to understand you when you speak in full sentences."

"I'm sorry. It feels unfair for you to not get your end of the bargain, to play" he answered demurely.

"It would be unfair to you the other way. I had to choose and I chose you, of course." When would he get it through his head? Was I really so bad at tending to his needs? I let the pork rest on a paper towel while I quickly washed the pan, then plated them. "Dinner is ready." We sat at the bar since the half-finished puzzle was taking up most of the table.

He focused on his plate, eating half of his pork chop and some rice before turning towards me. "This is delicious. Thank you."

"You're welcome." It was good. I didn't know why most people felt the need to overcook their pork until it closely resembled leather.

"This is stupid. This weekend, this no sex thing" he complained. "I'm sorry."

"Are you not enjoying yourself?"

"I am, no, that's not it. I'm having an amazing time. But... it's just... I don't know. I just didn't want us to be all sex."

"It is a crucial part as it should be."

"But--"

"Look Pet. I am a doctor, it is a large part of who I am. It does not negate the other parts. But simply wishing I weren't would mean we never would have met. I don't understand why you wish to change good parts."

He was pushing a piece of tomato around his bowl. "I didn't think of it that way. It shouldn't be the biggest part though, sex I mean."

"Why not? What's your hang up? And who decides which parts are 'biggest'? If we go by time spent together, sex probably ranks no higher than eating. It seems you're ranking our activities based on their importance which really negates this whole conversation, does it not? You mean that you wish the sex wasn't so important to you? You are being enigmatic, Chris and I do not mean that in a positive way."

"I love that you see things so much differently than I do" he finally answered a few minutes later. I didn't mind waiting for him to get his thoughts in order but I was anxious about his reaction. "I always considered myself really liberal when it came to relationships and sex and things. And then I met you and realized, well am still realizing, that I wasn't. Maybe I wanted this weekend for you too, so I could know that we were on the same page, that you saw me... well I'm not Kevin. Even if we're just sitting here eating, right?"

I scowled, I couldn't help myself. "Of course you are not Kevin."

"Or Mike or James or Ollie or anyone, right?"

"You're Chris."

"And I'm special?" he asked, biting his bottom lip afterwards.

A million thoughts were going through my head and I felt like one of those morons in a cash machine where the bills blow around them and they try to catch as many as they can. Just like most of them, I came up mostly empty-handed. There were a hundred things I could have said and even more I could have asked but I went with the simple "Yes".

"You're special to me too" he said with a smile.

I had assumed as much. I stood and gathered the plates, taking them into the kitchen. I needed some space. I couldn't gag him to stop this conversation so I did the next best thing. "I still have your ice cream, would you like some dessert?"

"Absolutely Sir. Every kind you can think of. Or we could go in the Den first and save it for afterwards?"

I put it back.