Mirror

A Thousand Ways to Die Without Actually Dying

Rage against the dying of the light— Dylan Thomas

                  

She woke up early, she liked waking up early. It gave her time to think. She thought about recent events. She thought about her friends and her family. She just walked around her room, in something of a trance, letting her thoughts take control. She was hungry, but she didn't dare leave her room for the kitchen, her mother could be out there.

                  

She kept herself up with happy thoughts. Today was going to be the day everything would change. She was finally going to have everything she wanted. The party was going to be amazing. She needed a mask, though. Why Adora decided to throw a masked party was beyond her but she wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

She walked up to her wardrobe and furiously went through her clothes, thinking about how annoying it was that whenever you wanted to wear something, it magically vanished. It wasn't much but she found a black hoodie and some black jeans, then she found a Kylo Ren mask Michael had gotten for her when the new Star Wars movie came out. She liked Star Wars a lot and had always dreamed of becoming a Jedi knight.

She leaned in on her door, pressing her ear against the door to listen and check if her parents were awake. Sure enough, they were, and they seemed to be having breakfast. She heard sounds of talking and cutlery on dishes. She was hungry but she didn't want to see either of them at that moment, and she knew the felt the same way about her. She laid her clothes on her bed and wrapped herself in her covers, sleeping was easy once you lacked it.

She didn't know how long she was asleep for but she was woken up by an incessant beeping coming from her phone. She sleepily reached for her phone and squinted, spotting Shiv's name. She answered it as she silently vowed to change her ring tone to something less annoying.

"Hello", she said in a drowsy voice.

"Where are you?" Shiv answered back in an interrogatory tone. "The party's started and even Michael is here"

That was odd, Michael hadn't told her he was going too but then again, she hadn't talked to him in a while. She wondered if he felt neglected.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," she said as she stood up and started putting on her clothes. "I'll be there in five minutes"

"You better be" Shiv said.

She had put on her hoodie and her jeans when she went to her window to check out the driveway. Good, it was empty, that means her parents had gone out. She picked up her mask and headed for her door. She went down the stairs with alarming speed. Her stomach growled in defiance but she willed it to shut up, there would be time for food later. She opened her front door and embraced the cool wind that greeted her. This was going to be it.

She practically jogged to the house were the party was, alternating between running and walking while heaving for breath. She cleverly avoided the open roads in case her parents were driving and they saw her on the street, she was not taking any chances. She knew she was getting close when she could practically smell the weed and alcohol. She had had some experiences with both, none of them good.

She came up to the large house, no, mansion. The house was overwhelming and the front gate was taller than both her parent's cars stacked together vertically. She walked through the gate, giving a slight nod to the security guard and she took a deep breath. This was the party and she was going to have fun. She put on her mask and prepared herself for the time of her life.

She entered the mansion and the music seemed to punch her in the face. The volume of it was almost deafening, she almost couldn't stand it. Almost.

"It's funny, I recognise that mask. I think I bought it for my friend once", a familiar voice said from behind her. She looked back to find that it was Michael, dressed as...Michael Jackson. She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"You know, if you just rolled your eyes, I wouldn't be able to know", he said with a that wily grin of his. "You didn't say you were coming" he said, in a tone that sounded like a question.

"Well," she said. "Neither did you."

"You're the one that's been giving me the cold shoulder."

"Let's just forget it, I want to dance. I've never been to a party like this before and I want to try it out" she said as she held her hand out to him.

He took it and smiled, moonwalking while dragging her to where the others were dancing.

It felt amazing, it was like she could feel the rhythm of the music in her blood, in her bones. She laughed, she drank and she danced. She didn't know how to but then again, who cared? Everyone there was either drunk or high. This must be what happiness felt like, she thought, to just be in sync with everything.

She took a break from dancing and moved in to get a drink and some food, her stomach was starting a civil war down there and she had to eat. She moved to get some samosas by the table and saw Shiv nearby, she wanted to say hi but she was with some other girls and she decided to just hang back and eat. She was within ear shot and could hear Shiv talking. She'd always wanted to know what other girls talked about. She cocked her head and listened in, intently.

"But asides from that, why do you even chill with that hippo?", one of the girls asked.

"Oh my God, I was just going to ask that, she's so weird and fat", another one chimed in.

It took her a minute but she soon realised that they were talking about her. She started burning up and then calmed herself down, knowing that Shiv was one of her closest friends and would surely shut all of the stupid girls down.

"Oh, Idunu," Shiv began. "I don't even like her like that, I just allow her stay with me because her friend is cute and she's such a fan. I mean, who doesn't want a little doggy following them, hanging on to their every word."

As she said this, the other girls laughed in response.

"In fact," Shiv said. "I even invited her to come but I don't think she's here yet, maybe the car broke down, literally. Have you seen how fat she is?"

This caused an even greater roar of laughter, some girls were wiping tears from their eyes.

Idunu's mask began to heat up and her face was burning. How could she? They were friends, or were they? She felt her heart break into so many little pieces, making the jigsaw puzzle even worse. She had tried and hoped and it all was just a game, a little ploy.

She couldn't take this anymore, she ran from the food table, pushing past everyone. She pushed past everyone, until she got to the gate. She ran past it and headed into the road. She raised her hand up to avoid the glare from the headlights of a familiar looking car coming towards her. She assumed the car would stop so she crossed at a normal pace, but the driver of the car probably couldn't see her as she was donned in all black.

The car hit her and she felt bones break and she welcomed the oncoming blackness that brought her in, to a cold harsh embrace.