Eager to succeed? Come to prayer on time
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Bela wipes her tears in vain. She managed to escape to her room without being forced to take part in making the decorations for her engagement. As she trudged upstairs, I won't cry. I won't cry. I'm strong. I can do this, she chanted in her head but she burst out crying a minute no later. Her heart aches, for everything she did and didn't do. The woman is torn between two characters and one will inevitably win. Who? That's the real question.
Bela drops her bag and work related items on her bed with a hiccup. She can't seem to find peace in anything. No thought of happiness invades her troubled mind. That's when it hits her. Peace is in one thing and one thing alone. That pushes her to do something she should've done long ago. She hastens to the washroom and performs Wudu, as water drips down her pale face she hunts for her prayer attire and throws it on as quickly as she can. Bela lays the prayer mat and swiftly takes her position on it.
'AllahuAkbar.' (Allah is Great) She says aloud. Bela focusses on The One. No man can distract her now. She's talking to her Master, the Only one who can Help her. The woman is thoroughly distressed, frustrated and sad. All her worries depart as she bows and prostrates with tranquility. Her dizzy heart is calm and her mind is still. Her movements are fluid and graceful; the exact Sunnah on how prayer is supposed to be performed. Bela completes her Isha prayer with the final Tasleem and sits in her position. She stares into space, her mind blank.
'SubhanAllah.' She utters approximately 33 times and that's when tears silently make their way down her cheeks. She's so incredibly regretful and upset that she's disobeyed her Lord. Allah told you Bela! He protected you from so much but you didn't stop that person. You could've never taken that job. You could've quit from day one! Your career is in His hand! Not some man who thinks he's the hot shot in town! Why didn't you listen Bela? Your heart told you. Your conscious told you. Allah guided you but you refused to listen! Her body trembles as she crouches before Him. She acknowledges her mistake and wishes she never did any of it. Premarital relationships are forbidden because ultimately they lead to indecent acts and there's no doubt about it, Bela never engaged in any of that but she feels guiltier than someone who just left that type of sin. In that moment she envisions the position she was in with Talha. Disgusting. She cries harder. Bela never wanted this and still doesn't. How do I get out of it? Dua. She raises her hands and lowers her head. I'm the worshipper. I am created to worship in every aspect of my life. Here it goes.
'Oh Allah. At-Tawwab (The Greatest Acceptor of Repentance), Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful), I've sinned.' She begins to do something that she hasn't done in a while and that's confessing. She admits and tells her Lord everything that happened, she asks for help and assistance in fixing this mess. Bela cries profusely and hastily wipes her tears. 'I'm sorry. I know I keep saying it but I don't know what else to say. I sin and err everyday of my life. Forgive me and have Mercy on me. I need both of it my Lord. Please. I never wanted to do what I did. I'm sorry. Please Protect me from Your punishm-m-ment.' Her voice breaks out of fear and humility. The tears refuse to stop. 'Oh Allah, I didn't ask for Islam but You Gave it to me. Oh Allah, I'm asking for Jannah so Grant it to me.' She concludes with a Dua similar to that of Imam Shafi'ee.
Bela isn't done yet. She can't just make a supplication and expect everything to be alright. She needs to prove to her Lord that she really is sorry and make it up through action. For that she lifts the Noble Quran off of her bookshelf and decides to read. She flips through Surah Yunus, the tenth Chapter and begins reading. Bela being fluent in most languages instantly understands the meaning of the words before her. She's amazed at the intricacy, detail and richness of each word. This Chapter talks about the Power of Allah and divine decree. It's talks about the Prophet Nuh and Musa, their mission, sacrifice and perseverance through it all. They were messengers given a responsibility heavier like no other and here I am whining about how my life is? What's the matter with me? Seriously Bela grow up.
She closes her Mushaf gently and places it back where it belongs. She then decides that it's time for her to make up her mind. She's a good woman with a big heart and no man deserves to toy with her feelings like that. Nor should it be the other way around. Bela sighs and makes her way downstairs with a fresh attitude and a clean heart.
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'Make it happen.' The Man says with a blank face. He grips his phone with a tight fist. Bitterness cloaks his tall figure as he paces his room.
'You want me to what?!' A shocked response comes through.
'You heard me.'
'I did but... Are you serious?' The Man isn't in a mood to joke and play games. He's in a do or die situation at this point. The slightest thought of this being a bad idea did cross his mind mainly because he- at the end of the day- does have some fear of a Supreme Being watching him but that doesn't stop him. Unfortunately.
'Yes.' He bites out. The character on call sighs with a shake of his head.
'I really hope you know what you're doing.'
'I do. I wouldn't come to you if I didn't.'
'You do realize that this can't be undone.' The Man did think of it but he's too far gone to care. I'm selfish. I can't help it...
'I know.' The character is silent. His own mind plotting and making up possible repercussions that certain people will inevitably have to go through.
'Is there a reason as to why you want this done?' Yes. There's a woman. A woman I want but can't have. A woman that I intend to make mine thereby fulfilling a divine command. And I will. One way or another.
'No.' He responds simply. The character on call sighs again. This entire situation drives him crazy, he has no say in the matter.
'I don't know T. It's a huge risk.'
'Make it happen.' He hangs up and tosses his phone onto his bed. The Man refuses to take "No," for an answer. He will work to achieve his goal. That's just his personality. Nothing, nothing will stop me.
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So here's a short one :) I read all of your comments and thought to myself, okay I need to update! LOL. I love reading your feedback, as I've said before it's very motivating for me AlhamdhuliAllah. Alright, I'm off for now. Hope you enjoyed :) Peace- Zai x
