Loch Ness Monster Explained

Chapter 2a - MONSTROUS - The Absent-Minded Researcher

It is so important to understand the nature and characters of some of the researchers, and here I will use "Monstrous" to do that.

I'd like to introduce you to Ivor Newby who has been involved in research at Loch Ness since the early sixties. A genial, handsome ex-RAF character for whom nothing is too much trouble. As a Subaru fan, we have a love of four-wheel-drive in common. Not the huge lumbering "Chelsea Tractors" as they are sometimes called, but the sleek manoeuvrable comfortable variety.

Today in his eighth decade, he is sceptical about anything at all living in the loch and just observes and enjoys the craic of "being here" now and again. He is great fun to be around and always cheerful – one of the few people I have met who has never had a bad word to say about anyone. You can see him 'pulling the birds' in his amphicar above.

But one fact about Ivor cannot be denied – he has the worst case of absent-mindedness I have ever encountered.

The year – 1975, the place – Ivor's home in the South-west Midlands. The telephone rings.

Adrian Shine, leader of the Loch Ness and Morar Project and another friend of Ivor, had managed to obtain a weekend's use of some classified sonar equipment from the British government. He called to see if Ivor could collect it from near Bristol and bring it up to Loch Morar, Scotland's "other" monster loch, where Adrian had decided to concentrate his research in the mid-seventies.

Ivor, his usual amenable self, with an opportunity to drive six hundred miles each way during the weekend, just jumped at the chance.

He collected the equipment on the Thursday and took it home ready for the journey on Friday.

Leaving the house he set off early in the morning with the plan of arriving late in the day.

In those days there was not quite the full motorway network we have in Britain today so, passing through Lancashire, Ivor decided to fill up with fuel. Arriving at the filling station he jumped out and reached for his wallet from his jacket.

Horror of horrors, no wallet.

He checked his other pockets – definitely no wallet. Then he remembered that he had placed it on the coffee table ready for his departure. He could see it in his mind's eye.

He checked his fuel gauge. Just under half full. Could he get back home on less than half a tank? There was no alternative. He pulled out of the filling station and headed south at a steady, fuel efficient 55mph.

The gauge hit red as he approached home, he was going to make it. Dreading the splutter he would recognise if the carburettor sucked air, he finally turned into his drive. He wiped his brow and breathed, "made it."

Opening his front door, there was his wallet, exactly where he knew it would be, on the coffee table.

Beside it, on the floor was his suitcase and the sonar equipment.

I suppose the moral to this story is that by forgetting his wallet he avoided arriving at Loch Morar and facing Adrian's wrath at not bringing the equipment.

Ivor arrived at Loch Morar in time for daylight and then crashed-out the rest of the day.

More on Ivor's absent-mindedness later ... this was certainly not a one-off.

[I regret to report that Ivor died late in 2016. He had no family, but friends from all walks of life, male and female. He'll certainly be missed.]

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(C) 2018 Tony Harmsworth