His Guilty Secret (LGBT - Sci-Fi - Romance)

Chapter Nine

A couple of evenings later, as they were all sitting down to a meal, someone flashed his ID at the door. Peters got up to look, "It's a Captain Hayes. I wonder what he wants? I don't really know him but I'm going to his wedding in a few weeks. It's supposed to be the social event of the year..." His voice trailed off as he became aware of the total silence behind him. King sat there looking petrified and Matthew had turned toward him with his brows raised. "Tell me you're kidding!" exclaimed Peters, staring at King.

King cleared his throat a couple of times and eventually managed, "I don't want to see him."

"You don't have to. Would you like me to speak to him?" asked Matthew.

"Actually," suggested Peters, thinking quickly, "it might be an idea if I spoke to him. I'm not condoning what he did, but I think I can understand a bit better now some of the problems he's facing. I've probably got a little more in common with him than either of you two." He looked at King. "Would that be okay with you? Or would you rather I just sent him on his way?"

"I don't know," answered King, trying not to hyperventilate. "I'll leave it up to you, whatever you think. As long as he doesn't come in here."

Captain Hayes stood outside the apartment feeling sick to the stomach, trying in vain to keep his teeth from grinding together. Was Danyel going to answer the door or not? Was he already Ferris' lover? After all, he had moved in with him as soon as he got down here. He was absolutely not going to yell at him; he was here to apologise. He was going to stay calm, calm and civilised whatever happened.

He was still telling himself that, when the door was opened by one of the most beautiful men Hayes had seen, wide blue eyes, perfect high cheek bones. He felt an almost uncontrollable urge to knock him to the ground. Yeah, that would really endear him to Danyel. His heart plummeted. How could he possibly compete with that? The man came out and shut the door behind him.

"He doesn't want to speak to you, but I will if you like."

"I don't think so," Hayes tried to make his voice sound like less of a growl. "I just want to speak to Danyel. Please."

"Come on, let's go for a walk. Or we can drop in at the Comet's Tail if you like, that's quite a nice bar."

Peters could almost hear the other man's teeth grinding in angry frustration.

"Let me introduce myself. I'm Colonel Dan Peters, of—"

"You're not Ferris?" Hayes interrupted.

Peters smiled faintly at the jealousy in the other man's voice and shook his head. "No, Matthew Ferris is my partner," he explained, without a trace of embarrassment.

Hayes found himself walking along beside the other man before he was aware of it.

The word "Colonel" suddenly trickled its way into Hayes' consciousness. He came to an abrupt halt. "I'm sorry, sir, I..."

"It's all right, Hayes. If we're going to talk privately, call me Dan, or Peters if you find Dan too difficult. I just thought you might like a chance to talk to someone else who hasn't always known he's an om. King and Matthew? They've always known. I don't think they appreciate how difficult it can be if you have to change the entire way you think about yourself."

They walked on for a bit, Hayes starting to look interested despite himself. Peters continued, "I always thought I was straight, despite my looks. I was even married for two uncomfortable years. It was such a relief when we broke up, all that pressure—most of it from myself I admit. My wife knew I was an om before I did." Hayes was silent, listening.

"Matthew was the first man I was seriously attracted to but I blew it in a big way. The details are between him and me, but let's just say I was undercover and I deceived him. He felt used and humiliated."

Hayes winced. Why did that sound unpleasantly familiar? "But he forgave you, right? After all, you said you were partners?"

"Yes, he did. But we had two years apart before that happened."

"Two years!" He looked at Peters with awe. He'd been prepared to keep hoping for two years to get the man he loved? He'd found it hard enough to wait two days before he could arrange things so he could get down here. He paused. What was he saying? He wasn't in love with Danyel, he just needed to apologise to him, didn't he?

"I just don't know what to do!" he told Peters. "Everything is in such a mess. The wedding... you know about the wedding?"

"I've got an invitation to it," Peters replied dryly.

"Well then, you know how big a deal it is. I know it seems silly, like a cheap romance holovid. It's usually the bride, isn't it, too afraid of embarrassment to cancel the wedding? But it's not just the two of us I have to consider. The contracts involved affect dozens of people, hundreds even. Then there's my job. I don't know if they even let oms continue to serve as ship's Captains, although you're a Colonel. Can I assume they know about your relationship with Ferris, at Headquarters?"

"Yes, they do. And I do know of at least one ship's Captain who is an om. I think it's more a matter of how you act, if you misuse your position or not, that affects whether you can remain a ship's Captain. It can get very complicated if you want a relationship with someone on your own ship." He continued, "I can't help you with the social embarrassment, but has it occurred to you that the contracts might be sufficiently valuable in their own right? That the families will want to keep the business agreements, even if you don't get married?"

Hayes stopped and stared at him with an arrested expression. "I never thought of that, but you might be right! After all, they benefit both families, not just mine. Surely it wouldn't be too difficult to take the marriage part out of the equation."

He paused awkwardly. "Could you just tell Danyel that I'm really, really sorry? And that if he gives me a chance to apologise in person, I'll... I'll get down on my knees to beg his forgiveness. He can get a message to me at the Blue Nova, otherwise I'll call again tomorrow. I promise I won't make a fuss if he doesn't want to see me."

"I'll tell him," Peters promised. "But I'm not sure an apology is what he is really after."

"Thank you so much, sir. It's been very helpful, talking to you."

They shook hands and went their separate ways, Hayes still wondering what Peters had meant.

Peters returned to his apartment, feeling more sympathetic toward Hayes. From what he'd heard tonight he was still all mixed up, he had made mistakes rather than been deliberately cruel or abusive. Mistakes he could sympathise with, god knows he'd made enough himself. He was careful not to mention any of that to King, though. All he told him was that they had had a conversation. If King was interested, he could ask him for more details later. He passed on the message Hayes had given him word for word. King raised a faint smile at the image of Hayes on his knees before him, but as Peters had suspected, they weren't the words he wanted to hear.

As far as he knew nothing had changed, Hayes was still getting married to someone else.