Ek se Mohabbat, Dusre se Ishq

Chapter 6 - Hisaab Barabar

2am

During the night, I woke up to feel my stomach rumbling like a washing machine. I was hungry because even though Raman had brought food, no one had eaten it as they kept themselves busy in talking. I didn't want to eat without Raman. He must've been hungry too, I wasn't too worried about Abhishek because he would never keep himself hungry for too long. He must've eaten something on his way here anyways.

I got up and i came out of the room, I walked very quietly to the breakfast table which was placed on the side of the front room. There was a bag on top which i was eager to see what was in it seeing as it smelt so good when Raman had walked in with it. IDLIIIII SAAAMMMBHHAAAARRR. I smelt it and it reminded me of amma's cooking back in Chennai. I missed it so much. A tear fell down my cheek whilst I had my nostalgic moment.

"Ishita? Why are you up so early?" Raman mumbled briefly as he woke up from his sleep.

"Sorry Raman, go back to sleep, I was hungry so I came to eat something, don't mind me, go back to sleep.." I quickly wiped away the tears and turned around.

I felt bad to have woken him up, he had continuously been doing favours for me and I still hadn't done anything in return.

"no no it wasn't your fault, i'm a light sleeper, wese bhi my back isn't exactly allowing me to sleep..." That was my chance. Usne mera pair ka dard kam kiya, ab main uska peet ka dard kam karungi.

"Acha baba, theek hai, lekin tujhko bhook lagi hai kya, tera khana bhi garam kar dungi, abhi bolna warna i'm not going to let you steal any food from my plate!

"Bhukkad kahin ki! Nahi chahiye tera idli sambhar...bakwaas khana jo hai..." Raman started to take the mick out of 'madrasi' khana.

"Oyeee. Madrasi khana sabse healthy hota hai." We were both still whispering as Abhishek was still sleeping.

"Jao aur khana garam karo."

"Pakka? Teko nahi chahiye?" He was just being egoistic now, once he's said that he won't. He TRY not to. Main bhi dekhti hoon ki wo kaise nahi khate.

"Pakka."

Then I went to warm up my food and I came back and sat next to Raman on the sofa.

"mmmmmm kitnaaaaa yummmyyyy hai yeh" i bragged on as i knew he was hungry, it was evident on his face.

I took a piece of idli and dipped it into the sambhar and waved around in front of his face. That was when he grabbed hold of my hand firmly but not aggressively, and he made me slowly feed it into his mouth. He licked every finger clean from the sambhar till there was not a spot of it left.

"Sahi kaha tha tune, sachme bohut tasty hai..." There was some sort of an awkward silence but it really wasn't awkward, it was like we were lost in each other's eyes. Somewhere inside me, I felt so comfortable with him. Didn't know why. Didn't know how. I just did.

I couldn't find it in me after Subbu to get comfortable with anyone else. Not even Abhishek. I wasn't forced to get married to him. I had lost faith in myself and my ability to love again. I didn't want to go through the same pain again. Abhishek was the perfect guy for my dad, family, everyone. Even for me perhaps, I knew that there was no chance of me falling for him and even if I did, we both couldn't 'fall out' of the love, if you understand what i'm saying. It's hard to explain. We both would never be apart because of the fact that we were married IF we were in love. There would be no fear of breaking relationships. But it just doesn't work that way for me. I'd promised myself at the time of the Subbu breakup that I'd never fall in love again because once you fall for someone, you fall pretty damn hard and it's difficult to get up again.