why we fall apart

third ; why we fall apart

I woke early, before Alex even began to stir. I didn't wake him and was quiet as I got ready to go on my morning run. I wasn't an inconsiderate person, as my last roommate would tell you, I was just ... complicated.

As if that could describe the situation.

I grabbed my shorts, sports bra, and shirt, walking into the bathroom and locking it to change. The room was relatively clean to my relief, as I'd found out yesterday when I was brushing my teeth.

I changed with my back to the mirror, careful to keep my head down so I wouldn't look at my reflection. Then, I gathered my hair into a ponytail and splashed some water on my face to wake myself up.

I stepped outside to slip on my running shoes, noting that he was still asleep, then went outside.

I liked to run so I could space out properly before the day started. It gave me peace of mind. And I liked to be up when nobody else was awake. Everything was better without annoying people around me.

My feet pounded the pavement as my lungs burned. I was on my third mile, and it felt good to be breathing the cool air in. My watch beeped, letting me know that it was seven am sharp. I jogged back to the other side of the campus to get ready for school.

I lived at a boarding school during the school year and went home during the summer. We weren't allowed to leave the campus on weekdays, but we had a track and a golf field in the back of the large grounds.

I let myself in with the spare key I had tucked in the corner of the eave and found Alex still passed out. I shook my head. Typical guy.

I was still partially confused as to why the school would allow me to share a room with a boy. Wasn't that against school rules or something?

I'm pretty sure they were just desperate to find somewhere to put me. None of the girls would want to room with me because of the rumors about my ... temperament.

It doesn't matter though. Alex is just as enthusiastic as I am about this arrangement, which means he's just thrilled with a side of sarcasm. Which also means that we'll spend most of our shared time ignoring each other which is actually very fine by me.

I grabbed a change of clothes and stepped into the shower, glad for the fogged up mirror when I stepped out.

My typical outfit consisted of black skinny jeans, a random shirt, and a hoodie or flannel. Each day, without fail, I wore my beat up, plain black high tops.

My watch beeped for seven thirty. Perfect. I had just dried the last of my hair and I went outside the bathroom when I saw that Alex was still asleep. I smirked. Someone was going to be late to first bell.

I went outside, careful to pack all my school things within my bag so I wouldn't have to return after breakfast, and left the dorms. Breakfast wasn't even served at the cafeteria until seven forty five. We had until eight thirty to eat and get to class.

I may or may not have a penchant for breaking the rules.

Just putting that out there.

Only a few students had began to wander the halls, and none of them spared me a glance. Just the way I like it.

I plugged my earbuds into my iPhone and slipped them into my ears. As soon as Nirvana came trickling out of them, I felt lighter.

I ducked behind the maintenance building and found the back entrance. I jiggled the handle until a popping sound was audible. The door swung wide open and I shut it quietly behind me. I quickly located the ladder attached to the side of the wall behind some old machinery and began to climb.

Once I reached the top, there was a rusty handle that I pulled, releasing the door to reveal a small opening. I tossed my backpack through it and crawled out after it onto the rooftop.

I discovered this place my freshman year. It was a secluded area blocked from view by the way the buildings were arranged.

I liked to sit up here and think. It was my escape for when everything was too much to handle.

I watched everyone walk around, looking groggy as some stumbled out in pajamas and murmured sleepy hellos to their friends.

The track switched to an old All Time Low song.

I snapped my rubber band. I hated when I had to do it this early in the morning. I moved my bracelets over it so that I wouldn't have to see it.

The first bell rang for breakfast. The second would be for classes. The third would be for lunch. And the fourth would be for the end of class. The fifth would be for dinner. There were bells in between but these were the main five.

They were the soundtrack to our lives.

Us, the forgotten, the forlorn, the ones who were unwanted and had deep pocketed relatives. This is where we were all sent. To tough out our teenage years so that our parents wouldn't have to deal with us. Because after all, we're just a bunch of broken kids, falling apart again and again and again and again.

And nobody cares to put us back together.