Poetry

Break My Wall

(Authors Note: This poem is the deepest I have written so far. I know its long, but please take your time reading it. I would love it if you left me a comment. I would really like to hear your opinion. You can say you hate it, like it, or even love it. Just tell me how you feel.  I would appreciate it. THNX!!!!!!!)

You are so confused. 

You feel abused.

You scream out for help, 

But no one can hear you.

You search for them, 

But no one can see through.

The tears run down your face, 

And you keep on running, 

until you reach a safe place.

Cause you think no one will come looking, 

to see you dying here, 

from those drowning tears.

But will you give in, 

will you let your light dim?

Just because she said that one little word, 

did it really make you squirm?

Why should she have that power over you? 

She acts like a child and talks like a fool.

Moving her mouth. 

Off and on. 

Does she have a turn off switch? 

Her words weigh a ton.

I try to ignore those foolish but painful sayings. 

But my eyes end up over filling,  

just like its raining.

Will this ever end? 

I must defend.

My feelings.  

Build up a wall. 

Make it out of brick. 

And make it very tall.

Don't dare let anyone through. 

Because they just might see you.

They will find your weak point. 

Don't let them touch you. 

They might get through.

So no matter what, 

I block myself from the outside. 

All I know how to do is simply hide.

I will never let it down. 

Not for a smile or a frown.

I guess I will stay here forever in peace. 

But is it that or just a short leash?

I will never know. 

And I'm afraid never again, 

Will I glow.

And never again, 

Will my emotions show.

I am on a rough surface now. 

I cant come out. 

I don't know how.

I am scared. 

I don't know why. 

Its not that I'm shy.

Or maybe I am. 

I cant remember anymore. 

I lost all emotions. 

I don't know what my life is meant for.

I'm spacing out. 

Getting up, 

and again falling down.

I cant find my heart. 

My soul. 

Its torn...apart.

No self-esteem. 

Is that an example of me?

Why cant EVERYONE like me. 

I don't like hate. 

Why must they bully?

Help me. 

Save me. 

Get rid of me. 

Be brave for me.

But please do not break my wall. 

I am afraid it might fall.

I do not care if you are supposed to or not. 

This wall is something I took on, 

Something I brought.

So do not try to fight. 

My wall is to tight.

Because she broke me deep down. 

I feel like a non-laughing clown.

I cant smile. 

At least not for awhile.

Whats wrong with me? 

I cant see.

I feel cold, 

and so tired and old.

This wall is the only strong thing inside of me. 

It doesn't have a door, 

and cant be opened by a key.

Because of her. 

You have to break it down.

That wall I made for only her. 

To keep her away from me, 

I didn't want to be found.

But now you have found me, 

so go ahead and try.

Try to break it. 

And when it doesn't fall, 

don't ask me why.

I have been trying for years. 

So don't be disappointed, 

when all you are left with are tears.