the pain comes slowly, not all at once but in small, moderate doses. not physical pain but emotional, though at times it felt as if he could actually feel a low stinging in both his heart and chest. he himself didnt even quite understand the cause of it, because he didnt even know if there was one. it started with the feeling of needing sleep, complete exhaustion, but slowly turned into a sort of aching loneliness. that type of unexplained loneliness, when everyone's around you but you're all by yourself. he didnt know what to do with himself, so he naturally turned to yoongi.
yoongi certainly wasnt a therapist, or any sort of comforter at all for that matter. he kept things short and to the point, never wasting time on things that you dont need to dwell upon. he wasnt cold, really, just real. but when jimin walked all the way from his home to yoongis, which was a good two miles, all teary eyed and tired looking, yoongi didnt know how to make himself warmer. you see, theres a difference between talking to a professional about your problems and talking to someone close to you about them, and yoongi didnt know which one jimin wanted. yoongi had, well, special feelings for jimin, and he wasnt sure whether or not to act upon them.
in namjoons words, yoongi was an emotionally constipated dickwad, and suddenly, when put in this situation, yoongi actually felt like he lived up to those (rather oddly chosen) words. when yoongi was younger, he would simply solve all of his problems by punching them. violence seemed like his only answer then, but now, with many more years of experience on his back and time to learn new things, he handled things differently. but never in all of the years in his life, had he actually wanted to comfort someone and not have a single clue how to do it.
"jimin?" yoongis voice came out hoarse and pathetic sounding, almost as if he had just woken up or were about to cry. jimin stood on his doorstep, head down and eyes watery, sniffling every few seconds or so. at the sound of yoongis voice he lifted his head to look at the older boy, an emotion in his leather brown eyes that yoongi couldnt read. "are- do- uh- do you want to come in?" yoongi stammered awkwardly, having to resist the urge to slap his hand to his face in embarrassment. jimin continued to look at him with pained eyes and nodded his head slowly, staying silent as he did.
yoongi moved to the side of his doorway, freeing up the rest of the space from jimin to walk inside. once he did, yoongi closed the door gently behind them and lead the both of them into his living room. he was originally going to take jimin to his bedroom, but he might start thinking of cuddling him or something and that probably wouldnt turn out well. yoongi clenched his hands into fists at his side, trying to figure out what to do. "jimin, are-" he coughed awkwardly, "are you okay?" and he knew that the question was stupid, but it was still a valid one to ask a crying boy who shows up at your door out of nowhere.
jimin stayed silent, and yoongi watched him try and hold back his cries. "im- im-" jimin tried to start, but ended up in a large fit of sobs, making his body shake. yoongi sat there, eyes wide, racking his brain for an answer. all of a sudden, he simply stood up and rushed over to jimin, pulling him into his arms completely on instinct. yoongi had never, ever done this before. he had always used his brain to solve problems, not his heart. but with jimin, yoongis heart seemed to work on overdrive. "shit- i- im sorry." jimin sniffled, pulling away from yoongi abruptly while hastily wiping underneath his eyes with shaky hands.
"i- uh- do- do you need a hug?" yoongi honestly felt like a third grader saying those words, looking to jimin with uncertainty clear in his eyes. jimin looked at him, another emotion that yoongi couldnt read flashing through his eyes before nodding quickly and making the first move to pull yoongi into his arms. now, yoongi probably was stiff and unsteady wrapped up in jimins warm arms all of a sudden but if thats what jimin needed to somewhat heal whatever it was that he was currently going through, yoongi would hold him until the end of time.
//
a/n so this was random and completely out of the blue but yeah, i hope you enjoyed it. im not even sure if it made sense but eh. anyway, i miss my boy. that is all.
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
