Chapter 2: Fear

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I feel my eyes go wide as I freeze and look at my best friend. "What?" I say.

"Emma," she says, taking my hands. "Please don't be mad at me. I know that you had feelings for him and yet I still did it. I am so, so sorry."

I shake my head, coming out of my trance. I give her hands a tight squeeze and look her in the eyes. "Does he know?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says. "I've only told Sam. But that's only because he found the pregnancy test before I could throw it away."

Tears well up in her eyes and I quickly pull her to me, hugging her tight. "Hey," I say. "You're okay."

She pulls away after a moment, wiping her cheeks. "Are you sure?"

I nod and smile at her. "Of course."

She takes a deep breath before saying, "Okay. But I'm still freaking out. How am I even going to tell him?"

I shrug. "I think the best way to go around this is to just sit him down and tell him. I don't see any other way, Carter. But you need to tell him."

She nods. "I know," she says, looking down. "But I just know that he's going to freak out. I mean, Emma. We are only nineteen. I mean, yeah. He turns twenty next month... But still. We're so young."

"Hey," I say, pulling her to me again. "You can do it. I believe in you."

"What about the others? How do we tell them? I know it's been killing Sammy not to tell Dean or Bobby."

"I can talk to Dean if you want me to," I say. "But you should tell Derek first. Because I know my father. And he'll probably freak out and punch Derek in the face or something."

She laughs. "I know. You're right. But... I just... I don't know..." She bites her lip and then gives me an unsure look. "Unless... We don't have to tell either of them. I'm sure Sam would be more than willing to take me to the hospital..."

"Carter," I say. "I can already tell that is not something you want to do."

She sighs. "I know. But Emma-"

"At least tell Derek. Talk to him about it first. He deserves a say in the whole process," I say. "He is the father, after all."

She nods. "I know. You're right." She stands up and turns her back to me as she starts walking out of the room. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I'm really glad you're back, Emma."

I smile at her as she leaves. I sigh and stand up. I walk into the living room where Dean sits on the couch, his face turned towards what is ever on TV.

"Hey," I say, sitting down next to him.

He smiles at me. "Hey," he says before turning serious. "We need to talk about your actions."

I sigh. Here we go, I think to myself. "I know."

"You were gone for months," he says. "I barely heard anything from you. When we discovered you were gone, we were all so worried. Why did you run off?"

"Because," I said. "I felt suffocated. I needed a break from... Everything. I wanted to forget, for just a little bit, that I was being hunted. That I wasn't safe. I wanted to go out. Have fun. See things before..." I trail off and Dean raises an eyebrow.

"Before what?"

"Before I die," I say, shoving my face into my hands. I had never voiced that out loud. And I hadn't admitted it to myself until now. "Let's face it, Dean. I'm probably going to die when this is all over. If it's ever over. Sometimes I can't help but think dying is the best way to go around things. It will sure calm everything down for you guys. Your life would be less stressful. If I were dead-"

"Hey," Dean says, cutting me off. He gets down in front of me on his knees and looks me straight in the eyes. "Stop talking like that, Emma. We are going to get through this. Sammy and I have been through a lot worse. We can do this. And you're going to live. You hear me?"

I sigh. "Yeah, I hear you. But I don't believe you."

He sighs and shakes his head. "Emma," he says, taking my hands and placing his forehead against mine. "You're my daughter. I wasn't there for the first eighteen years of your life and dammit I plan on making up for that time. I'm here to protect you. And take care of you. I won't let any supernatural bastard take you away from me."

I pull away and stand up, suddenly sad. "I know," I say. "And you can try all you want, Dean... I just don't know."

"Emma," he says, but I turn away and go up the stairs to my room. I lay down and look up at the ceiling. Maybe coming back was a mistake. All my previous emotions from before I left are coming back. And all I came back to was yet more drama.

My mind wanders to Carter. I know I shouldn't be... But I can't help but be upset with her. And Derek? What a jerk. Was everything he told me was a lie?

I roll onto my side. It shouldn't even matter to me. I have Michael, after all. I shouldn't even be thinking about Derek in that way anymore. I'm perfectly happy with Michael, right?

I sigh. My life is a mess. Those three months on the road with Michael was the most fun I've had in a long time. If only life could always be like that.

I close my eyes, suddenly very tired. What would life be like right now if Mom was still alive? Even though it's been over a year... I can't help but still think about her. I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts. I'm starting to think that the pain will never go away.

***

A/N

Hey guys! I updated! I know it's kind of a short update, but I just wanted to let you all know that I have finals this week and I should (hopefully) be updating more soon. We'll see how it all works out because I have to work this summer.

I also wanted to let everyone know that I have a tumblr now! If you want updates for when I update my story, you can follow me on there. I'll also be posting Supernatural-related stuff on there, as well as stuff on Markiplier and Jacksepticeye if any of you are interested in them :) I'll also be posting random things, so if you want to follow me, I am writingnerd97. You can also find a link to my page in my bio :)

Okay. I think that's all.

XOXO

Miranda

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