Starless Skies #MentalIllness

Seis

Dear Diary,

Its done.

Many may call me a coward after this, but I can't help it. It is engraved in their mentality, to do that, the same mentality which is making me do this.

I know what they would say, nobody asked you to do this. But, in their hearts, they know, they did. What else would prove them saying 'Go Die' the countless numbers of times I passed through them? The phrase 'Go Die' itself means, to go and die. It is pretty clear I think, no Doubt there. And I am going to do just that. Make what they said, my command, and follow it.

Some may say that, I am loosing a battle. But I have to ask, because I May not get a chance after this, a battle against what? What exactly am I fighting against?

You? Because you are the reason I am here. And I am pretty sure, that after I die You won't take the blame for this.

Society? Society is consisted of you. So again, it comes back to You. And for a fact I know that You, would still blame it on Society, because of your sick mentality to defend yourself against everything true. If only You could see your follies, what you are doing to Us. Maybe then You would stop blaming Us, and take the responsibility of your deeds. But, I know that won't happen. You are too sick, and too far gone for that.

The truth does hurt, doesn't it?

You see, I realized something. Deaths from suicide doesn't work like Normal Deaths. When someone dies in a car accident, from a disease, anything other than someone killing themselves, then everyone remembers them. There is a Grand Service, with eloquent words spoken about them, about their bravery, their love, their passion, their what not. But when someone dies from themselves, then nothing like this happens. There is sometimes, no Service, let alone a Grand one, no eloquent words are spoken, other than those condemning what they did, calling them a coward and some saying that this is the fault of society, when it is actually theirs.

I know, my fate even awaits this situation, from what I am about to do. But, you know what? I would rather take condemning after death, than when I am alive. I would rather die and end all the torture, than live and suffer it. That is just how I choose it.

Condemn it how much you may, the good thing is, I won't be here to hear it.

Because I am not writing a suicide letter, I think this should suffice as one, even though it doesn't compromise half as much things as a suicide letter should contain.

But why bother writing one, when you are going to die? Why blame someone specific, when the deal is already sealed, when I am already dead? It has no purpose.

Maybe they do it because they want to prove their cause of death. Maybe not. There is no Answer for that. Nobody, who has ever died, after writing a suicide note, is alive enough to explain its causes and reasons to me. But if they are looking for the cause of death, I think it is pretty clear in this note. I can't think of any other reason to write another, specifically named, suicide note.

So, I think, no, I know, this is the end. This is my Goodbye to you, to everyone.

You were the only one who stayed with me faithfully, throughout forever. You were the only one who was always there. Even in my darkest times.

Thank you, for being there. I hope you find a new friend, and help him/her throughout all her times, much, much, more than you did for me.

Thank you for being there to hear my Goodbye.

Thank you.

This is it. This is the end.

I am finally free.

Yours sincerely,

Noah

XXSSXX

The End.

It ends here. This is the end.

I hope you enjoyed Noah's Journey. And maybe learned something more about psychology and mental illness. I am not saying you have to. I am no expert myself >.<

But I hope you understand now that Boys too do suffer from Mental Illness. It was the main purpose of the story. To show that Mental Illness is not gender biased. I hope I got that point across.

I know I was supposed to update on Monday but I was busy so I had to delay it but it is here! I will be posting the epilogue (hopefully) sometime this week. I sincerely hope you liked this book and maybe some of you even related to it?

Comment and let me know what you loved (if you did) most about the book! And please vote if you liked it!

All the love, S.