Raphael /BoyxBoy/

||Prologue||

Don't get me wrong, Ian was great the whole day yesterday. Everything he said and did just melted my heart and turned me into a puddle of putty.

It was the feeling once he was out of my sight that made it so terrible.

We're both busy with our own things, but every time he left for class or ran to the supermarket for milk or something, I always missed him a lot more than I ever missed the presence of another human being.

I'm sorry. I must sound like a dick, I know things between you and Raphael have been bumpy but I just needed to get that out there, you know?

Mom and Dad's anniversary was also a few days ago, and we got to celebrate it at one of their friends' restaurants. Fancy but great food. Maybe we can stop by there when you come visit. When is that, by the way? It feels like ages since I last saw your face.

Gotta go, Ian is being an asshole again and won't leave me alone.

Tell me more about Raphael. We need to fix things between you two.

-Nate

March 23rd (Sent at 11AM)

Nate,

I know in the previous email you mentioned Nic looking a lot like your mother, but that sounds absurd. He's barely one years old. How old is he? I need to know to send him something for his birthday. That kid is an angel, I swear. I'm sure he'll grow up to make you all proud.

Last week, I bumped into this guy at a café and he looked almost exactly you. It scared the shit out of me. It was only when he noticed me staring, and he spoke out that I realized his English accent was so thick that it couldn't even be you trying to tease me.

I still can't get over it. He even had the same shade of brown hair you do.

Unbelievable.

Raphael is being Raphael. Sometimes I wish I could just get up and leave, forget about him. Get over him.

I can't.

He's everywhere I go.

Sometimes I think I even dream of him in my sleep.

It's creepy and I hate it, but he's just so...there.

I wish things between us were easier. Simple. I like him, he likes me...We live happily ever after.

Anyway, I need to get to my next class soon. This whole school thing is killing me.

I'm genuinely sorry you still have years to go.

Jake

-

I shut my laptop and sighed, letting my head fall between my hands.

I felt tired, sluggish, unable to move from my position on my desk.

My dorm room was so small, especially now that I actually had to share it with someone.

Dan wasn't bad, I was just tired of constantly hearing about his latest conquests.

Especially if he was telling me they were going to stay the night.

Then I either had to miraculously find another place to stay for the night, or plug in my music and blast it on full volume the entire night.

Unfortunately, it was almost always the latter option for me.

I peeled myself off my desk, grabbing my laptop and taking it with me as I dragged myself to my shoe-sized bed.

I flopped down on my sheets, sliding in before I turned on the screen again.

Nate was online and had already emailed me a reply back.

My eyes stared at the green button beside his name.

He was awake.

It was a rare moment when the two of us were both on at the same time.

He was talking to me via the messaging bar now, also realizing I was online.

He was asking me about Raphael. How I first found out I liked him because apparently, I'd left that detail out.

I filled him in with a heavy heart.

I talked to him, sending him smiles and light hearted responses.

While all I really felt like doing was crawl up in a ball of self-pity for always lying to him.

Because there was no Raphael.

It was always just Nate.

Never anybody else.

I wonder if anyone saw that coming.

Hope you guys like this one and thanks for reading <3