Aisling's Diary

Chapter 15

4:58p.m.

Mrs Griffin has thankfully put a pair of furry cat ears on Chelsea’s head – which gives a kind of clue as to what she’s supposed to be. Great. This might also help with the parents working out why their perfectly fresh-faced youngsters that they dropped off a couple of hours ago are now stripy (and not in a good way). 

5:07p.m.

Oh nooooooooo. Just found one huge orange, black and brown stain on Mrs Griffin’s white velvet curtains. Also saw one kid leaving the scene of the crime with a fairly clean mouth. Wonder if these two events could be related? 

5:15p.m.

Gotta run–Ali is cutting me in half. I crunch up in the top half of the box with my head sticking out and Siobhan crunches down in the bottom half with her legs sticking out. I could probably get thrown out of the Magic Circle for revealing so much. Wow. I see Ali has decided to use a real saw. And breathe. Everything. Will. Be. All right. 

5:20p.m.

Have survived being sawn in half. Ali threw strawberry laces out into the crowd as he was sawing like it was our guts. How gross is that? The kids were going wild. 

6:52p.m.

Just seen my Dad in the street, he must have been on the way to a job. He had a big box of tools and he looked like they were really heavy. I was just about to shout after him when I saw Uncle Conor in his massive stupid car on his stupid iPhone which I THINK BY THE WAY he doesn’t even know how to use that much. Anyway Uncle Conor was just sitting there watching my Dad with this stupid look on his face like he’d beaten him at squash or something. Dad then dropped the toolbox and Uncle Conor just carried on with his call – he didn’t go to help or anything. I couldn’t get to help Dad then, Uncle Conor would have seen me and I didn’t want him to. I began to think though that maybe not everything is OK between them, maybe Dad isn’t really happy working for Conor again. I felt really sad to think of my Dad being upset. As soon as he gets in tonight I’m going to go downstairs and make him a cup of tea and tell him everything will be all right. 

7:07p.m.

At home. Exhausted. Positive I was never as much hard work at my own birthday parties. I have been using some of Mum’s v expensive cleanser and yet my hands are STILL the colour of Eavanne’s fake tan. I doubt they will ever go back to their natural colour. I am also aching allover because they all also wanted the funky tiger dance and it was worse than being at Killer Kennedy’s class. I am rueing (?) the moment I decided to put Amelia’s snake in the dance–all that throwing myself on the floor – whydidn’t I just put a couple of body pops in it instead? Was funny though seeing all the kids throwing themselves on the ground shouting ‘Look at my tiger dance’ and ‘Do it again, Aisling, do it again’. I tell you I am funky tiger-ed out. But Amelia, my friend – next time I see you, I’m gonna so show you how to snake it down!

Wow. Today Parties-to-Go were amazing. 

7:23p.m.

As soon as I heard the door go, I went down to see my Dad. I said, ‘Is everything all right, Dad? With Uncle Conor?’He said straight away ‘Why?’ and I couldn’t say I’d seen him but hadn’t helped him so I just shrugged. I gave him a massive hug and told him I loved him. I started to tell him all about my day and how I’d been nearly killed by his and Ali’s plan to successfully saw people in half. Dad was really laughing and saying how much he would have liked to have seen my face when I saw the real saw. I was really glad that I was able to make him laugh. He laughed really hard when I said, ‘But how am I supposed to be a competition-winning Irish Dancer with no body from the waist down, huh?’

Then I got a text from Siobhan. She said to get online straight away. 

7:35p.m.

Wow–Parties-to-Go are practically the stars of YouTube. One of the parents must have taken a video on their phone and put it up on YouTube. It’s a video of Ali sawing me and Siobhan in half. Underneath it says,‘This is what happened when we didn’t pay this company for our children’s party. But don’t worry, Parties-to-Go, we won’t do it again.’ Underneath there’s loads of comments and loads of people talking about how to get in contact with us for their kids’ parties. Whey hey!! We’re in business.

Sunday 13 November 

MEL: OMG. So which half am I speaking to now? Top or bottom?

AIS: Ha.

MEL: Sounds like you’re having loads of fun without us now.

AIS: No. I really miss you. This is just a stupid school project.

MEL: So I’m still your BFF.

AIS: BFF. I’m going to find out from mum when I can go/come to Boston this week.

MEL: Yay. How’s the boy next door (BND)?

AIS: Cool. BND loves the way I move.

MEL: Lol. Phil was asking about you?

AIS: Wow. I mean who?

MEL: He didn’t ask Colleen in the end. You funny! :D Gotta run, luv me xx. 

7:50p.m.

So Phil didn’task Colleen to the formal? Oh so what?I’m over him. O.V.E.R. I’m not interested in immature crushes any more. 

8:00p.m.

So, Murphy’s Bebo profile has twenty-seven luvs. Guess how many of them are from Eavanne? 19. NINETEEN. Guess how many luvs he’s given to her? 1. ONE. She loses nineteen to one. You lose again, Eavanne.

Monday 14 November 

We’ve had over 300 hits on YouTube. I put my USA National Irish Dance Final dance on YouTube last year and that’s only ever had 47 hits and I’m pretty sure most of those were from Dad’s computer. We are famous. This is what it must feel like to be a celebrity. Some of the first-formers were screaming at me in the corridor and shouting, ‘That’s the girl who got sawn totally in half’. Ali said people who had never spoken to him before were coming up to him and asking him how do you saw people in half? He was saying that –as a member of the Magic Circle – he can never reveal how his magic is done. Ha. He’s actually quite funny, if that hadn’t been my joke in the first place.

...........

Click the Thumbnail Below or Click Info on Mobile to Watch the Webisode.