July 25, 2015 at 2: 02 AM
If you could just send along the coordinates of your fucked up town, I'd happily pass them along to see if we can just call in an airstrike and rid this country of the asshole criminals that call that town home. My sister used to cry over books. I'd make fun of her and tell her it's just words strung together and nothing should make her that sad. I understand now how a few words can make your heartbreak just by reading them.
I have learned a lot about sex too. I'll explain a few important lessons. Sex is always awkward the first time you're with someone. It's more awkward if you are going to run into that person again. Repeats should be limited....sometimes actions are silent promises you have no intention of keeping. For me it's nice to have round two because it's better than round one---to crazy girls it's a promise of round 3-forever happily married sex. Nope. I've learned that it's different when you love someone, goodbye sex hurts as badly as it feels good, make-up sex is the best, and turning the lights off increases the chances a girl with take her shirt off on the first date (it's a scientific fact—but just trust me—I don't think you could find the supporting research).
Sex with my girlfriend was different. She wasn't my first so I thought I knew what it was going to be like going in, but I was wrong. Loving her made me change the goal. Before it was all about me and what I wanted. With her it was all about what made her feel good. I never saw stars or heard fireworks, but it was enough. This is going to make me seem like a giant prick, but we are being honest. I didn't think I could be faithful to one girl when the world was filled with so many options. But the moment I knew I was in love with her, sex with just her was enough. I didn't look for it other places and I didn't think about it without seeing her face.
You are too young to put sex on a list to be checked off. If you start there with a boyfriend, what's the best it could ever be? Don't be any guy's sure thing. Make him work for it. Once you are a steady lay, he doesn't have to try so he won't.
I dare you to stop giving yourself away to someone who doesn't know your worth. What happened to you was about someone else's flaw—not yours. It took from you your sense of security and left a whole lot of fucked up misinformation about who you are and how the world works in its place.
I'll take a dare.
P.S. Send me a picture of your bedroom door closed from the inside. I'll show you what to buy and how to install it so that you'll always be safe when you're in there.
*******Comments? Anyone thinking Wes is their new favorite boy in the Dear Bailey series?
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