Mistake 2- A Zayn Malik Fanfiction

Chapter Fifteen

Destiny hasn't made a peep since I came home. I haven't heard the water running, any painful groans from getting kicked in the belly. Nothing. Not a peep. Usually she's awake and waddling around in the kitchen to get breakfast prepared. 

Before i could stop myself, i softly knocked on the door. "Destiny?", i mumbled, waiting for a reply. "Destiny are you awake?", i repeated, but no reply. 

I guess she's still sleeping. 

I walked downstairs, frowning up at the bedroom door before fetching myself some breakfast.

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Destiny

I sat in the tub, submerged completely underwater. My hair was in a messy loose bun. My legs itched horrendously, but i couldn't do anything about it. I let my salty tears roll down my cheeks and drip off of my chin and into the bubbly water. I was numb. I couldn't move. I don't even know if i was blinking, but judging from the constant twitching in my eyes, i wasn't. I felt empty.. completely gone. 

I looked over to the corner of the tub where my blood stained razor blade lies. Last night i cut, and i've been 6 years clean. But after last night, i cut like never before. I looked down through the bubbled water, seeing my scarred thighs smeared with dried blood. 

After the fallout with Zayn and I, it really opened my eyes up. Maybe he's right. I'm always quick to blame everyone but i never look in the mirror. I was naive and stupid for falling in love with the man who kidnapped me and raped me. Now i'm carrying his child that i don't even think he wants anymore. 

I'm pathetic. I don't even know why i'm still here. Not here in this house, but on earth alone. I caused pain to my father, which is why he left us. I caused pain to my mother, but blamed her for it. I caused pain to Zayn, but pushed it away  because my situation was "more important". I caused pain to my unborn daughter, but i reject it because i don't want to own up to the fact that im not only a terrible girlfriend, but a terrible mother. 

I ruin everything with one touch, one breath. My parents suffered through that enough. Zayn suffered through it enough. My CHILD has suffered through it enough and she's not even born yet. 

I don't deserve to be here. I just cause pain and agony. I'm just a pest.  My child doesn't deserve that. No one does. Nothing mattered when i went missing, so nothing would matter if i was dead right? 

I sobbed hard, my shoulders shaking incontrollably while my lips quivered crazily. I reached over and grabbed my razor before placing it on my wrist. I shut my eyes tightly, a loud cry escaping my lips. 

Just as I pushed down on my wrist, a soft knock sounded on my locked door. 

"Destiny?", Lauren asked? "Destiny are you awake?", she asked. I looked down at my wrist before throwing the razor across the bathroom. I gripped my hair furiously, before sobbing softly. 

I can't do this anymore. I'm so pathetic. 

I heard footsteps move away from the door, indicating that Lauren walked away. I grabbed my loofa, breathing hard to calm my breathing while i washed my body. Once i was done, I stepped out of the tub, wrapped myself in my towel and walked to the medicine cabinet. After picking up my materials, i walked to the bedroom. I dried off and grabbing my cotton balls and peroxide. After dabbing my cuts with peroxide, i grabbed a q-tip to rub neosporin on them. After i was finished, I wrapped my thighs in thin gauze so they won't get infected. After that, I put on my soft pair of cotton pants and a large hoodie.