A Selfie to Die For

25)You can't drown demons who know how to swim

"Can you feel my heart" by Bring me the horizon

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One foot, and then the other. One foot, and then the other. Left, right, left, and then right again. That small mantra were the only words that Emily could process. She tried blocking out all else in order to focus on the pattern of her feet moving towards the hospital entrance. One foot and then the other. Left and then right, again and again.
After she had a good cry upon discovering she was left naked and bruised in the large bed. She sickly found Declan had wrapped her under layers of thick lush blankets along with laying her down on a pillow. He was able to commit an act of cruelty before turning around and attempting to do something in his twisted mind he must have thought of as considerate.

All Emily wanted to do was walk into the bathroom attached to the spare bedroom and shower away the God-awful nightmare of the night before.
But, she couldn't do that. Her big brother was a cop - Emily knew of police protocols due to all the massive amount of books Ben would bring home to read whenever he would visit. Police protocol regarding rape was relatively simple; get a rape kit done - don't shower. As much as she wanted to shower in a scalding hot heat that would wash away all of Declan's kisses and touches, Emily realized the rape kit would get him arrested. It needed to be done - it had to be done - she couldn't shower.

After that realization came that there would be no washing away her misery and despair, next was the slow inward walk of shame. Emily had re-dressed herself in her beautiful yet ripped prom dress. She found her small silver clutch bag from the night before as well. Her next actions were slow and nearly robotic. It was where her mantra of repeating what foot to place in front of the other started. The repeating of what foot to place in front of the other helped build an imaginary wall to temporarily place in her mind. If she didn't think about the beating and the rape, it could feel like it didn't happen.

Really, she knew this wasn't true - there was no blocking that horrible act of cruelty out. She knew the rape happened - she could feel between her legs that it did. There was no escaping the memory of the beating. Tiny shards of glass still stuck to the back of her head painfully, reminding her she needed a hospital. The only people that were still at the party were the ones drunkenly asleep somewhere within the large house. She recognized Dylan's dark head as he slept on the couch, and even a few other individuals from the night before. All were still passed out after staying up incredibly too late to party their prom night away.

Emily couldn't even bother paying her passed out classmates any attention. Her mind was trapped on thinking of the horrible cliché of terrible things happening at prom.  It happened in all the horror movies - the unsuspecting girl doesn't know something grisly and horrible is awaiting her at prom. Why did Emily even bother going?

On the way to the hospital brief moments came to Emily realizing she was driving Jake's truck. His attractive leathery scent littered the truck cab as well as a picture of he and Emily petting a boa constrictor at the State Fair in Colorado two summers ago. He kept it in place as a constant reminder for how the same boa had started to coil itself around his and Emily's neck in what seemed like a bid to strangle them. In comparison as Emily looked at it, that scary experience seemed like happier times.
The picture made her nearly cry.

But, she didn't. She also didn't bother letting a flicker of care filter through her as she temporarily thought of Jake and where he could be. As cruel and as strange as it was, she inwardly placed some blame on what happened the night before towards him. He made her go. He drove her to Dylan's house. He left her to be ambushed. All because he held some petty grudge that Ian held interest in her.

A proverbial would've-could've-should've came once more as thoughts of the night before flickered through her mind. What she would've done. What she could've done, and definitely what she should've done. There were so many things that Emily regretted. Jake's previous words of what-could-go-wrong seemed like a sick twist of irony. Just about everything went wrong last night - her ex boyfriend has spoke of killing others and wanting Emily dead.