A New Life (River Phoenix)

The Final Argument

"Okay, you're right. Then let's forget that." I say.

He sits back down, sighing.

"But then let's talk about something else."

He narrows his eyes at me, mentally plotting his next cover.

"If you aren't going to these meetings, then where are you going? You're gone a lot and I never see you. I've been with Erin more days than I've been with you." I say.

He freezes up for a second, but then talks.

"I've been cleansing myself of the stress this company has put on me." He says. "I'm fasting."

"Why do you need to be away from me to do that?" I ask.

He stands up yet again, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, what is this? Twenty questions? You know I hate this game. You're really aggravating me. I want to go to bed." He complains.

Everything inside of me builds up; my heart is racing with nerves and anger, and I can feel myself beginning to give up.

Iris could be right.

"Why are you so reluctant to answer my questions?" I ask. "I just want to know where you go."

"What do you want me to say? I'm coming home at the end of the day, isn't that all that matters?"

Is he kidding?

"Isn't that all that matters? Are you serious? I come across the country to live with you and you're never here! Oh yeah, I get to see you for 10 minutes before you fall asleep, how lovely." I'm being so sarcastic and I know it's going to push him over the edge.

"Some of us have things to do!" He yells.

"Like what? Like get high? Yeah, I know what you do when you leave, and I know it surpasses everything I've seen." I admit.

My heart skips when I see how enraged he is, like he's about to throw something or seriously lose it.

That was the scary thing about River; you could only be so gentle for so long.

And when he was mad, he wasn't the person his fans read about in the magazines.

"Oh here it comes!" He yells, yet again. "The beloved drug talk that I'm always getting. How fantastic! Come on, hit me with it. Tell me all about how much of a mistake I'm making. Oh, and while you're at it, go ahead and judge me for it just like everyone else! Because I'm supposed to be some wholesome-granola bar boy with a spotless image and being a real person really puts a damper on that. I'm sorry."

"You're impossible!" I raise my voice even above his. "Wow, you're so in denial. I have never judged you for it, but here you are! So in denial about it that you'd rather just take it out on me than actually admit to something."

He looks at me.

"What do you want me to admit, huh? That I have a problem? Well here you go: I have a problem. There you go. Right out in the open." He admits finally, though I'm not sure if he's really accepting it or not.