A New Life (River Phoenix)

The Final Argument

That's childish, I think, though it does sound like a good idea.

I wait.

"Carmen?" River's voice yells, and I can guess that he's sober.

"Yeah, what?" I ask, anxiously entering the living room.

He wears green flowing pants and a blue sweatshirt that has a hole in the side, looking nearly homeless as he throws himself on to the couch.

"I feel so sick." He complains.

I want to walk over to him and touch him, or try to connect with him in some way, but my feet feel stuck to the ground.

I'm so nervous I can't find the strength to move.

"I'm sorry." I say.

He groans into the couch and readjusts himself, turning his head so that he can see me.

I can tell my poker face is not up to par.

"What is it?" He asks. "What's wrong?"

I feel sick when he asks me; I don't know how to say it.

"We should talk." I answer, and sit on the chair across from him.

His face turns into worry but he sits up, leaning back and crossing his legs.

"What did I do?" He wonders.

It's like he's reading my mind.

I would kill to not be in this situation, but since I already am, the best thing to do is be honest.

"I got a call," I lie. "And it was from the director of that movie. He said you haven't been going to any of your meetings and,"

"Bullshit." River says. "You know I go! I always go."

"But why would he just lie to me?" I ask.

"Why would I lie to you?"

He's making it impossible; only a second into the conversation and my brain is on overload.

"River." I say.

He stands up and furrows his eyebrows, clearly mad.

"Oh, I'm not going to the meetings, big deal. You know, sometimes I want to do other things than be put on display for the world to see. Is that such a crime, huh? That I don't want to be some puppet for some corporation that doesnt give a damn about anything besides the money they're making?" He says, pacing in a circle.

He's full to the brim with rage, just as I suspected.

I remember what I decided on though. Honesty.

"I get that, River." I say. "And I know you don't want to be put on display, but if you're making all these commitments you should stick to them."

"Didn't we agree not to mix relationships and business?" He questions.

I need him to understand.