In the Shadows

Chapter 1.1 || Rita

April 15th

I was ashamed of my own embarrassment. No one knew my biggest secret: I was a huge nerdy fangirl. Seriously. I freaked out if I missed something in a fandom I was in, or if it was even something as small as missing an episode of my favorite show. The only reason I was able to keep it a secret was because I was actually called a freak for liking Britain more than America (sorry that I happen to think another country is better than this awful country).

Because so many people either called me a freak or "Britain Obsessor" and that I had self-diagnosed social anxiety disorder, I had pretty much no friends in school. There was one or two people I got on good terms with, but I wouldn't really call them friends. All they did was talk about "hot" male celebrities anyway. Why people took to obsessing over celebrities was something I would never understand, and instead I took to obsessing over fictional characters and small YouTubers.

Not having any friends in school didn't bother me much, as I had the internet. My mom was constantly telling me that I needed to "get out and make friends", but she just didn't understand. I couldn't make friends. I was too afraid that I would make some mistake or embarrass myself to the point where it influenced by daily life. I had online friends anyway (to which Mom said "weren't real"), including my best friend Chelsea who lives in Britain. As long as I had her, I didn't give a damn what Mom said about making friends.

I used to be bullied back in middle school—partly because I happened to get crushes on both girls and boys and partly because I had no friends—but then I met Chelsea. She was all I needed at the time—a friend that I could trust with my secrets, a friend that I could vent to, and most of all a friend that would support me.

I depended on her from the beginning. Whenever I was sad, I would go to her to cheer me up. It didn't take long for us to become best friends. We had similar interests, we supported each other, and we could trust each other. It was her who saved me.

Now in my first year of high school, I try not to let what others say get to me. I at least don't show it, as school isn't the place to get upset and cry. That's for when I'm alone, and besides, I have someone I can talk to now.

"You still think it looks like her?" I hear a girl with an annoyingly high-pitched voice ask as I am walking to the city bus to go home. I live too far away from school to take a school bus.

"Yes. I do. Just look at her!" another girl with an equally annoying voice exclaims. Those two girls must have gone to my middle school, as after middle school ended I cut my long brownIA straight hair into a bob in an attempt to lose my old self in high school. Now my hair has grown to the bottom of my neck, or the "bisexual haircut". I'm much happier with my hair now, and I also don't have people from middle school bullying me.

"That is a completely different haircut. She may look similar, but I'm fairly sure that's someone else. Maybe she had a twin. We've been going over this for months now," another girl with a lower voice replies.

Today is a fairly warm day, being an average temperature for April at 18 degrees Celsius—or 65 degrees Fahrenheit. There is a soft breeze, but not enough to make one want a jacket. This is my favorite time of year—the time of year when winter has passed but summer is not here yet. When it's just warm outside.

The sky almost looks like it couldn't be any bluer with few clouds. It's too perfect outside for the predicted rain that is to come.

Going home right now would be a waste. I would rather spend my time going to Hot Topic or Barnes and Noble, but I can't. Chelsea and I planned on Facetiming after school. With a 5 hour time difference between us, and the fact that I have homework, talking to her early as possible would be best.

I take a window seat on one of the worn bus seats towards the back of the local city bus—which isn't actually all that local, saying that it serves multiple towns. The bus I'm on is one of the older ones, as it looks worn down and that the layout of it is mostly like the layout of a fancy bus with rows of 4 seats with an isle in the middle. The front of the bus has a few seats facing opposite each other instead. Apparently all the busses here used to be like this, but then they were changed to make more space for commuters.

I lean my head on the window to the right of me, with a hand under my head. I stare at the almost cloudless blue sky, wishing I was elsewhere right now. I've had a long day.

I start to think about things that have happened to me in my life, and let myself get a little too caught up in memories.

"Umm... I think you're really cute Addison!" I had said when I was 7 to a girl named Addison, a girl who went to both the same school and church as me.

"Ewwww," replied Addison. "Are you gay or something? My mommy tells me being gay is bad."

"Gay?" I asked.

"When two people of the same gender love each other. Mommy says it's a really bad sin."

"I don't think I'm gay," I said, thinking this as I had found both girls and boys cute. What I didn't know at the time was that finding someone cute had nothing to do with who you liked.

"Good. You're faking."

Addison had left, leaving me standing there.

Later I went on Mommy's laptop and searched "gay", and concluded that it wasn't bad. I assumed it must have been a Christian thing.

I hear my phone ding multiple times that I have message. I check my phone, scowling as I must have forgotten to turn off my ringer this morning. My frown fades in seconds when I see that Chelsea has texted me. Her message reads, "Hello." It takes only a matter of seconds for me to type in my password and to reply.

I sigh, holding my phone in my hands as I wait for her reply. Soon enough I am deep into a conversation with Chelsea. That is, until I hear yelling.

My head goes from looking at my phone to the left and right in only a matter of seconds. Out the window I see several people who walk slowly and are bloodied.

The bus swerves a little from the right to the left. My heart starts racing. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

The ground shakes slightly.

I look around me, but no one seems to be worried. I clutch my blue backpack in fear, then using it to protect myself. I start to feel as if I can't breathe, and overwhelming fear washes over me. I start trembling and my palms feel sweaty. My heart starts to race. Oh god an accident is about to happen.

Not long after I am sure an accident will happen, the bus starts to fall. I quickly try to project myself in any way that I can, squeezing my eyes closed tight in fear.

I hear more yelling, louder this time. I smell something burning and hear the sound of a fire. I slowly open my eyes, in a fit of coughing. Smoke is everywhere. If I don't get out soon I'm going to die in this fire. I'm lucky enough to be alive right now.

I put my blue backpack on, holding my arm over my mouth. I start to slowly make my way out of the bus crawling, stepping on broken glass and over dead and injured people. I feel like I'm going to puke.

I finally escape the bus just in time through the broken front windows of the bus. I watch for only a few seconds as the fire starts to spread. In that time I use it as an attempt to let myself calm down. I think about that fact that I survived a crash without being hurt.

AN: That was part 1 of chapter 1! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to vote and comment!