Author's note
This poem is alittle depressing so if you want to be happy or you have triggers reading it is not a smart idea.
I've never felt more alone than a crowded room
Because it's full of people but it seems a suffocating not tomb
I walk around with a smile and jokes to make others laugh and not feel as low
But it's these moments when everyone's distracted my cracks begin to show
I'm a ghoul taking over this lifeless body and just hoping no one sees
That the one they thought was always happy is the person that made sure you wouldn't be
Step after step, mile after relentless mile the charade pours on
And the past begins to feel rather haunting
I'm an addict of my own creation searching for a quick fix
When in reality my stature is actually cracked
Shooting stars are a crazy notion but seems it's the same as I
Burning the brightest just before it dies
It heats up and shines creating a sensation sought after
Rather like how I attempt to fill others with laughter
And burns and right as it breaks it shines really bright
Similar to my smile
Imagine day after day dying from the inside out
Trying your hardest to cry out
But you're a prisoner to your own body with no escape
I bend the most right before I break
Beaten and abused
But i escaped without a bruise
It's a funny dilemma it's rather ironic is it not
You see we were so scared that we created monsters we fought
But now staring in a mirror the monster I was escaping was only me
My weakness is the internal abuse I cause myself and a line or two on my wrist you see
My weakness is that I couldn't ever escape my nemesis of my own creation
But little did I know it destroyed me without hesitation
My cracks began to show
And soon after there wasn't anything left to know
Fractured and fallen I was then rubble of a unique design
I'm the one who always said they were fine
