PACE (Practical Accessibility and Control of Emotions)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Relationships

Biology was one of those subjects that Elliot felt more isolated than ever. He didn’t know anything the teacher was saying, the terminology didn’t seem familiar to him, which wasn’t a big deal and meant nothing to him, he excelled in other subjects like English and R.E. that he enjoyed. But the thing that made him as anxious and uncomfortable as ever, was because he sat next to Charlotte. A girl of great beauty, her eyes would change from blue in summer, to brown in autumn and her body was hypnotising for young teenage boys and envious for girls. She had the makings of a model but had a higher intelligence and concentration level than the rest. In terms of her personality she was almost always positive and she knew what she meant when it came to compassion and feelings. She wasRyan’s girlfriend. Not like that was a problem, the relationship was on its knees. It’s just Elliot couldn’t stop looking at her.

“The Process of Life. A tough subject but I think we can get through it. Please open your books to page 49.” Said Mr Routledge: a kind and gentle man and an engaging teacher, he typically wore a tweed jacket with leather elbow pads, shirt and blue bowtie. He continued; “Cells are the building blocks for living things. They all contain DNA and organelles. DNA molecules are in the form of a double helix…” As he continued Elliot began to drift off: he thought about what his anger management class would be like. What his teacher would be like. If it would help. Why he really needed it. Was Mr Fiennes telling the truth, or was it an excuse for when him and his brother failed there exams to make it look like he tried to help them. He drifted off so deeply, he started drawing in his book, he didn’t even know what he was drawing, but he was incredibly lost, and even lost track of time. The curves of the pen as it imprinted its dark profound ink was emphatically mind bending, the linear lines created more detailed than Elliot was capable of. He hadn’t realised that he was doing it.“How can you do that?” Charlotte asked. Elliot’s eyes blinked numerous times in amazement. As he looked at the drawing, he had realized that he had drawn two eyes, shaded to perfection and toned to such a realistic degree, he was confused as to what he had done. “I don’t know” he responded to Charlotte’s question, but suddenly realised why he did it: Charlotte’s uniquely deep eyes met his and everything went gradually blurry for Elliot and time slowed. Almost as if he was waiting for something to happen. He could feel his cheeks going blood red, and he was so self-conscious he felt almost claustrophobic, as if he was drowning but never stopped looking. Neither did she. He had realised that he drew her eyes and was fixated with them; “You have beautiful eyes” he admitted, somehow finding the courage to say something and she began to blush; “thank you” she responded. Elliot was so astounded at how she had actually responded to him. Rather than most girls who would simply ignore him and make up any excuse to get away. Like he was a wasp fling around them. Suddenly as if lightening had struck, the bell for the end of the lesson sounded, and both of them stopped looking at each other. There was an awkward atmosphere all around Elliot afterwards. He felt like he had committed a crime or that he had done something unconstitutional. However at the same time, he felt almost thrilled, he could feel the adrenaline pulsating through his legs: he had never done that before, or at least he had not felt as visually attracted to Charlotte like this before.

***

Elliot walked down the path towards the school gate. His bruised eye felt cold against the harsh air. The school overlooked a park and a forest behind it, and on the opposite of the school, a café, where the Year 11s went to at lunch. The dry, partially damp, autumn leaves crisped, crackled but comforted his feet. He could hear, over the song that was booming in his ears ruining his eardrums, what seemed like an old couple arguing and became intrigued to know who it was. Elliot heard a voice shouting “what do you mean you met someone else!” he was beginning to hear clearer and clearer as he got closer. Gradually Elliot was connecting the voice he was hearing to the face as he came through the school gate. “What do you mean stop shouting...” the voice, escalating in aggression, “… I can shout if I want to!” Then Elliot continued down the path leading to the park café from the school, he peered around another path leading to where Ryan would walk Charlotte home every day. Then it dawned on him. The ‘old couple’ was Ryan and Charlotte. He could hear Charlotte was in tears, like the shatters of her broken heart were being grinded to dust and stomped in the ground by Ryan.

“You know what? I didn’t give a shit about you anyway.” Said Ryan turning around the corner heading the opposite way from where Elliot was walking. Elliot saw Charlotte with her hands whipping the tears from her face. She saw Elliot, wanting to try and mend the pieces. But as soon as he tried to speak she turned away and ran towards her house. Still crying.

Suddenly out of nowhere, his phone vibrated: a text from an unknown number: “To all Anger Management acciociates, we will be meeting at Bounds Green tube station. 5:00pm. Do not be late.” Like before in biology, Elliot began to ask questions. Were there more people who were going to be there? Was there a punishment for being late on his first time? Why was it at a tube station?