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05 • address

I couldn't believe my own eyes. Because what they were seeing was that my friend was in bed with Bentley and Blaise had already known about it beforehand. Which not only meant Rachel was into girls and never told me, but that Bentley and Blaise hadn't been together.

And that I had made a terrible mistake.

"Lottie," Rachel finally yelled, snapping me from out of my reverie. "Are you just going to stand there or what?"

Of course, snapping me out of it meant that I finally acknowledged that the two of them were doing a lot more than just kissing and that I was seeing a lot more than I had asked to - especially since I never asked for any of it. I gasped, spinning around and closing the door behind me as fast as I could.

When the sight, but sadly not the memory of seeing my best friend naked in bed with her secret lover had faded, I leaned up against the wall, allowing myself to heave out a sigh. I was still terribly confused, but I had all of the answers to the questions I was really asking.

Were Blaise and Bentley a thing? No, thanks to my friend Rachel who could've told me that from the moment she knew that I knew her as Blaise's friend. But I understood the complications behind it, so that was neither here nor there.

Was Blaise being honest with me through all of this? I had no other reason to assume he wasn't. Maybe there was history, but that was only there because it couldn't go away as much as we wanted it to. Because what started as us reliving our history turned into us starting anew with each other, into the two of us turning the tides of the wave we had been caught in.

Had I made a terrible mistake? I most definitely had. It was a mistake on all fronts even. Because I somehow let the past catch up to me while I was living in the present with Blaise. I had listened to some idiot jocks spreading rumors instead of him because I knew just how possible it was. That was the Blaise I knew from so long ago, the type of guy who turned my life upside down just by being in it. But now, things were the opposite, and every moment since I had sent him away felt like I was engulfed in the flames of the bridge I had burned.

Was there any going back?

Was there?

I guess I didn't have all the answers after all.

♕ ♕ ♕

Hayley squealed with pleasure and excitement, in fact, she had been doing so for about half an hour now. The news that Rachel finally had someone in her life - well, besides us - was the only thing she really cared about after all. The bisexual bombshell she had hit us with was definitely just that, a bombshell after knowing her for so long but not knowing that fact, but it was still great news.

Of course, it had changed nothing but the fact that I was wrong. I talked to Bentley about it and she agreed with the points that I made - basically calling me jealous and crazy to my face, which I took because she apparently knew him better than I did and I got it if they were both mad at me - and that I should make it up to him. After my rejection, he had went out to drink with some friends, so she told me to wait until the morning to find him.

So that was how I ended up on the doorstep of Blaise's dorm room. I had been knocking for a few minutes, and there was still no response, but I stayed put. I wasn't giving up on him - not now, and hopefully not ever.

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