Heartbeats

Chapter Nine

“Jacie!” The shout woke me, along with the sharp elbow jab to my ribs. My eyes shot open, and I sat up straighter in my seat. I knew that the pink spot on my cheek gave away the fact I had, once again, fallen asleep in Ms. Pallem’s class. It wasn’t my fault she was so boring.

I blinked a few times, fazed by the light and the physical assault to my ribcage.

“Ms. Tember! Your poem?” Ms. Pallem’s voice was irritated.

My poem. That thing that took me five minutes to write the day we got the assignment two weeks ago. A free poem, any style, about anything, to introduce out unit on poetry. She wanted to see where the class level was.

I loved topics like that, no boxes.

Slowly, I stood and made my way to the front of the room with the yellow paper crumpled in my right hand. When I had reached the head of the room, I unraveled the paper, yawned, and looked at Ms. Pallem expectantly.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she seethed.

I nodded and started.

“His hands, his lips, his loving charm

Façade that chips but no alarm

His hair, his eyes, his hidden past

Mouth speaks the lies that come so fast

His friends, his sleeves, his covered scars

His parents ask, but pay no regard

He’s slipping fast, but none can see

Beyond his eyes, smile cheerfully

Why is it so easy?

To play pretend

And say we’re living

When we’re at the end

His nights, so dark, and so alone

His hope one day to not be on his own

His days, so dim, and such a lie

The sun rises just to die

And with a smile he rots away

And with a smile he fades like the day

And his laugh can echo in the hearts

Can’t afford to fall apart

To stay alive for those you love

And pray for mercy from God above.”

I handed Ms. Pallem my paper and returned to my seat. When I got there I slid down and let my eyes close. It was almost as if the lids collapsed from exhaustion.

It wasn’t that I had stayed up late; it was the stress and the headache, each competing with the other for control of which stupid thing I would do next. I actually recited the theme song to Barney while unconscious in first period.

While my classmates read their poetry I slowly drifted away back into the land of nod, where realizations were masked by metaphors and similes, and reality melted into fantasy.

I was running through a tunnel. Darkness stole my sight from me, and all I could sense was the humidity as I practically swam through it. My footfalls echoed through the tunnel. The chilled water soaked into my shoes and sock, and it chilled me to the bone when it settled on my skin. The smell of the air was stale with the stagnant water.

I pushed myself through everything. Each stride grew longer, my arms swinging harder, and my breathing became louder. I didn’t know where I was going, but something inside me was pushing to find someone, or something. I needed that to happen quickly.