Title: Seven ways to Fly
Author: QuenCordova
Reviewer: DIS0RTED
Rate: 5/10
Positive Points:
The story's not what I usually read. Hindi 'to yung parang bigla na lang mag mimilagro't mabubuhay yung bidang babae just for the sake of having a happy ending. Cover's nice. (Cover's a very crucial part of every story okay. Hindi dapat ito binabalewala as eto yung mag a-attract sa mga tao para basahin 'yung gawa mo.)
Hindi mukhang jeje o collage na kpop idols ang nandoon. Light lang din, hindi masakit sa mata. Kumbaga minimalist 'yung naging theme noong cover and It picked my interest. The image of the girl is dramatic kaya narealize ko na drama 'yon and it's a good thing for people to realize na hindi 'yon comedy o horror. Drama 'yon.
May mga nakikita kasi akong cover dito sa Wattpad na sobrang angst ng theme pero pag binasa mo eh rom-com pala. Nag-stray yung cover sa theme nung story. Doon sa'yo, I got what I expected.
Negative points:
Grammar. Please please please know the difference between on and in. I-google mo 'yung definition nila. You don't use it for the sake of using it. The simplest definition of it is that 'pag "on" nasa ibabaw, 'pag "in" nasa loob. Kaya nga sa mga ospital 'diba? "The doctor is in" ang ginagamit, hindi naman the doctor is on. Alamin mo din kung kailan gagawin yung past tense, present tense at future tense. Check your elementary books kung nahihirapan ka sa advance books. Elementary books give the simplest explanations so hopefully maintindihan mo.
The use of comma. Basahin mo 'yung sentence mo bago ka maglagay ng comma. My professor gave our class a tip about when to or when to not put commas. Ilagay mo 'yung comma kung saan ka huminga kapag binasa mo yung sentence or paragraph mo. Common sense na lang kung paano gagamitin 'yung tip na 'yun. I know nakakalito 'yung mga ganon, but you have to learn it. Hindi mo lang naman 'yan magagamit dito sa wattpad, even sa daily life mo magagamit mo 'yun. I tell you hanggang pagtanda mo, magsusulat ka sa ayaw at sa gusto mo.
It was toooooooooooo long. Some are irrelevant doon sa story. It's a one shot story, you have to make it as short as possible pero dapat magkaroon pa din ng impact sa readers. Masyadong mahaba yung introduction na pati yung hobby ng pamilya niya sa paninigarilyo ay naikwento mo na. It became tooooooo boring na I skipped some parts. One shot lang 'yun so you have to condense it. Kumbaga 'yung mga important infos lang ang nandoon. Siguro dahil may word count 'yung sa contest ni Azure kaya kinailangan mo gawin 'yun, but you could've made it longer without putting too much information, next time please don't mind the word count. Okay lang kahit umabot lang yan ng 50 words pero sobrang tumatak sa puso at isip ng readers kesa naman sa nag 2000 words ka pero meh lang 'yung reaction ng readers mo diba?
The emotion of the story. For the love of everything good, you're making a drama pero noong binasa ko halos (halos okay) puro actions. Nasaan 'yung emosyon? Dapat bukod sa ma-visualize namin 'yung ginagawa nila, dapat maramdaman din namin 'yung feeling noong bida. It was so dry. Kung ano yung tuwa ko sa plot at sa cover, nabawi sa content.
Characters. You mentioned her dad, her step-mom and her two brothers, pati si God na-mention mo na rin.
I honestly don't know the reason for it. Hindi ko nakita yung importance nila sa kwento. Ganito lang 'yan eh kunyari nagluto ka ng limang putahe pero sa limang 'yon, dalawa lang yung kinain at napanis yung tatlo.
