Chapter 27

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Demi

Nick seemed to be thinking of what he wanted to say as he sat on the window ledge. I knew he was pissed off, hurt & confused when he stood up & started pacing. "This is just fucking great. You just gave birth to my son & I find out you're still in love with Wilmer. Where does this leave us? Our family? Do you want to be with Wilmer?" Nick's voice was angry & loud, so I shushed him, only making him glare at me, harder, as he continued to fume.

I shook my head, rapidly. "NO! Stop yelling & listen to me. I am not in love with Wilmer. I love him. I loved him for a long time, Nick & he was a big part of my life, so I will always love him. That's what I told him. I told him I still loved him, but I did not tell him I was in love with him."

"So, you didn't tell him you had these feelings come over you, when he showed up here?"

I closed my eyes, briefly & sighed. "Okay... I need to explain that. Sit down please, so I can tell you the whole conversation." I put my hands together in a prayer position & brought them to my chin. Nick rolled his eyes, but he did sit down, so he could hear my explanation. "First of all, I do not want someone else to play my husband, in real life. Second of all, I do not want to be with Wilmer & I never will want to be with Wilmer again. Yes... when Wilmer first showed up here today, I was hit with a sense of nostalgia, probably because of hormones & the drugs that were still in my system & fatigue. So yes, I remember these feelings coming over me & they shocked me, but then he came & hugged me & started talking & that's when I realized that it was just all of those factors, I mentioned, that brought those feelings on, because they disappeared as quickly as they came. I knew I was in love with you. I know that, without a shadow of a doubt. So when he brought up the movie, I told him I had to think about it because of those feelings that came over me. I wanted to talk to you about it, too. I probably shouldn't have told him all that, but I was still out of it & had no control over what I was saying." I stopped to take a breath & Nick handed me a cup of water. I could feel myself getting emotional, so I took several breaths before I continued.

"Anyway, he asked if I was still in love with him & I told him I wasn't in love with him anymore, but that I would always love him

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"Anyway, he asked if I was still in love with him & I told him I wasn't in love with him anymore, but that I would always love him." My voice cracked, "I told him I was in love with you."

"He left all that out."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you thought for even a second that I was in love with him. You have to know that if you & I hadn't got back together, I would not have gone back to him."

"You wouldn't have?" Nick asked, sounding surprised & relieved.

I shook my head, slowly, watching Nick, a frown on my face. I could feel my chin trembling, thinking Nick thought, even if brief, that I loved Wilmer more than him. "When he reacted the way he did, when I told him about Lyric, it changed how I felt about him. I fell out of love with him, in that instant, because he wasn't the man I thought he was. And I can never forget that. I will never be in love with him again. Besides...." My voice shook, so I cleared my throat & took another drink. "I wouldn't be able to move on if you & I ever split up, because I am so in love with you, it would take a really long time before I could get over losing you." A sob came out of my mouth, imagining that happening, so I covered my face. I felt Nick sit on the bed beside me, then I felt his arms come around me. 

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