Desolated Maniacs » j.g. (Sequel to Addiction)

| twenty |

hayley

// 3 months later //

sitting on my desk, reading poetry, my mind was swarmed with stupefying words and phrases. so much metaphors behind the real meanings, there was so much meaning behind these four lined poems, and i can't help but think, these words were actually someone's voice, but in written form.

sighing, i closed the book and went outside my room. the house was dead quiet, most of the lights inside the rooms were off.

we haven't bonded in like three months, and that killed the living hell out of me. the sorrow in our eyes were really apparent, that it actually made us shut each other out. i know it was stupid, but jack's sudden death affected us so much. even now, i can't imagine him not being around. sometimes i even daydream that he was still here, taking care of each and every one of us, telling us everything was going to be okay, despite what we all had been through for the past years. i daydream about him just to feel the bliss he made me feel before, the bliss that i have been looking for my whole life.

i reached the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee and grabbed a bowl of digestive chocolate cookies.

i sat on one of the barstools in the counter, and heard some footsteps coming from the living room. i didn't mind at first, until the person spoke up. "hayley," i looked up to see matthew only wearing a pair of sweatpants, his eyes looking all dull. he made his way toward me and sat across. "i've been trying to reach you out, but i guess i didn't do anything else for us to talk again."

"why?" i coldly asked.

"i just," he ran his fingers through his hair. "i happened to kill jack, hayley."

my heart fell down to my stomach and my throat tightened. i can't find the right words to say. "wh-what are you talking about?"

"hear me out, please," he sighed, nervousness in his eyes. "i injected some substance that someone gave me in jack's veins for the cancer to grow worse hours before he died. i did that when you left the hospital, the very last time he talked to you, and johnson and i remained. but, johnson's not in this, only me. i excused myself, told him i was going to the bathroom, but i sneaked in jack's hospital room and did it. he wasn't awake, and i took the huge chance. when i injected it to his dextrose, his whole body shook, like he had some sort of seizure, but his eyes didn't flutter open. i immediately hid the injection needle and called the doctors, telling them jack started to lose it when i came in. and that was when johnson lost it, too."

"what—"

"please hear me out, for the last time." he cut me off.

"johnson started yelling at me, accusing me for what happened to jack. of course i told him it was not me, and that when i came in, jack was already like that, and i just called the doctors to help us out. i panicked so much that my mind went blank. i think i was going to have a panic attack and cry, but i ran out and took deep breaths, told myself everything was going to be okay." he was not looking at me, tears falling from his sad eyes.

"who gave you the shit med?" i asked, anger filling up by mind and body.

"if i tell you, you'll—"

"fucking tell me, goddamit!" i yelled and stood up, throwing away my cup of coffee as it shattered into tiny little pieces when it made contact with the cold floor.

"c-cameron did." he stuttered, tears still streaming down on his cheeks.

"you pathetic little piece of shit," i slapped him across his face as hard as i could. "how could you fucking betray me and take away the love of my life, matthew?! i have been trusting you all my life for crying out loud! i can't  fucking believe you!" i smacked his chest, but no force came out. i sobbed and sobbed, until i can't breathe anymore.

"hayley please," he grabbed me by the arms and helped me to stand up.

"i hate you, i hate you so much! i'm dragging you to hell with me until your miserable soul rots there." i said with gritted teeth.

"at least you were the last person he talked to." he whispered.

i grew even madder on what he said. "do you think looking at the bright side of this will make things better? jesus matthew, i'm not slick as shit like you. i don't give a fuck if you see things in the positive way, because this was never a positive thing!" i yelled again, my throat started to hurt. natalie, nash, and johnson came running downstairs, approaching my crying ass.

"i saved your life, hayley," he yelled back, pointing at my face. "i saved you from jack who ruined our lives!"

"saved my life from jack?! you just killed me again, matthew! stop being fucking dumb!" i yelled back, as natalie rubbed my back, whispering to stop.

"he ruined us all!"

"he did not ruin us all for fuck's sake matthew, what the hell! he even saved us! why the fuck are you throwing these thoughts now?! we all have been together for so long and you're gonna just bring this up now?!" i pointed at him back. i felt like the veins in my throat were going to explode. as well as my head.

"he's dead now, what else are you gonna fucking do?!" he was crying, because of anger. his face was red, and his fists were clenched.

"yeah he is because of you!" my voice cracked as i yelled.

i stormed back to my room, locked myself in and cried.

-

when evening arrived, johnson came to my room and we talked.

"so i heard," he said, running his fingers through my hair to soothe me down. "matthew left couple of hours ago, telling us he was flying to virginia to see his family. he's gonna stay there for a while now, until you guys bet better."

"bullshit," i cursed for the millionth time today, but i did not bother throwing my anger on johnson. "i don't think i'll ever forgive him, especially he betrayed me like he did not even know me. as if i was not even his best friend before."

"you will, there's so much better things if you just look closely, hayley. sometimes you just have to follow the light because it will help you find your way." he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"i don't know," i sighed. "i'm not sure."

"make up your mind, hayley. things will get better."

yeah, i wish they will.

-

i was watching television with natalie, shawn, and johnson at around nine o'clock when the doorbell rang.

"i'll get it." i said since i was sitting on the couch near the main door.

when i opened it, i wanted to just sink in a hole and die.

it was mattew, avery, cameron, nash, samuel, and nate standing next to each other, with a smirk planted on their faces.

"hi, hayley," cameron's raspy voice ringed through my ears. "i have missed you."

and that was when i felt two strong arms grab me by the arms and everything went black.

---

GUYS. THIS IS THE VERY L A S T CHAPTER OF THE SEQUEL!!!! pLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'LL HAVE AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS CHAPTER (lmao) OK OK I LOVE U GUYS STAY RAD