Update your MASTERHANDS = Rants

(1) hey! MH DRAMA BOMB

So...

You guys just kept changing your names. I barely found most of the people I knew here!

Also everyone's been doing fine, I guess. But me I'm as lazy as ever

Drama in 3... 2... 1!

When first came here there was this magic spark. Because of this place I left my old life of being a base user and Idol RP boss. I tried writing, that ended up really bad and now I want to delete everything. I drew and drew, but the spark went ka-poof.

I made and met really nice people who even became my friends, at the time. Now, I don't even know if half of those people remember me

Everything has changed since school gave me a back-ache and all I do with my computer is see funny internet memes in tumblr. I didn't know how most things work anymore. Heck you can upload images now?!

All I'm trying to say is the magic spark I once had is gone.

But I wont leave. Or atleast I try. I stay here as much as I can, every free time I get for the sake of reliving that spark. I stay here for the sake of the people who consider me as a friend and even those who follow me. I am sorry If I don't update with any new drawings or even chapters, but right now my keyboard is so broken I can barely type this.

I look at the wattpad site bookmarked in my Chrome everyday, thinking if I could ever do something to feel welcomed again.

It's not just the new home page (WELL IT IS i mean come on! Why did they change it?! It only took me today to figure out where the news feeds are!) but I feel like I don't know anyone anymore. YOU GUYS CHANGED YOUR NAMES AND FREAKING DEACTIVATED YOU ACCOUNTS WHILE I WASN'T HERE! now I can't find most people here and I feel sad.

I don't know. this place isn't as welcoming as before. I felt like those so called friends forgot I existed. I know my friends here! I brag about you guys to my sister everyday! Yet I act so much, without the knowledge if they feel the same way.

I read so much books, reliving my fangirling moments after reading a whole book about how Lucy and Natsu gets together in a cheesy way or people's dramas.

You guys wont care about any of this honestly. It's my life not yours.

But, I wanted to let out some of how I feel. I can barely even draw now. I lost motivation on everything and I just wished I was wasting my time at school than at home. The amount of free time kills me.

I'll be here as much as I can. For the sake of the books I made and followers I have and the "friends" I made. I know I kept repeating this but I can't help it. I just really wanted to be a part of something. And the more I look at it, I feel like I was absolutely nothing

Hope you didn't mind my senseless drama of why I stay here. I thought maybe showing my reasons can give me motivation. 

But the one thing I can truly give me motivation is a friend. Tell me if you think I'm your friend. A simple follow to me is like adding me to your friend-list in FB so you random guy who found me can ask too. I ain't asking this for attention or for bragging. I'm asking to give me a more bigger purpose. A purpose for being here. To why I hesitate to write a new chapter of Lisanna being so jealous of NaLu. I just wanted to atleast be treated like maybe some people want me here.

(also sorry of this is so confusing and wiggly-waggly, my feelings are just like that)