ALL THE LOVELY BAD ONES | CARL GRIMES

twenty seven. innocence

I looked over at Carl, seeing that his eye was closed. Although from the stiffness of his body I could tell he was faking it. I figured this was his way of asking to be alone and I wanted to give him his space. I sighed, closing my book and setting it on the nightstand beside the empty plate of an eaten casserole.

"Goodnight, Carl." I whispered as I stood up. And in some surge of courage, I leaned over and pressed my lips against his freckled cheekbone. His eyelashes fluttered as I pulled away and he shrunk deeper into his blankets. I turned away, flipping off the table lamp, shrouding the room in darkness.

I was making my way to the door when I heard an intake of breath. I spun hastily to see Carl sitting up stalk straight, clutching the sides of his head. As a result of getting shot in the face, he had killer migraines. She usually prescribed him whatever she could, and unfortunately a lot of the medications we had laying around had less than stellar side-affects. They took their toll on him. Hard. He'd be gone for hours in some drug-induced state. In and out of lucidity. He barely was functional on them. While Carl was not a fan of the high, perhaps that'd help him get through the night.

"I'll get Denise, she'll bring your meds-"

"No," The boy cut me off, his voice tight, slowly releasing his skull. "No, I don't want anymore of that shit. Just...just come here a second."

I looked back at the door a moment before moving closer to his bed side. His erratic breathing beginning to settle as his eye made contact with both of mine in the dim light. After a moment, he simply put his left hand out and I moved over to the that side of the bed and took it, running the pad of my thumb over the back of his palm. He downcasted his face, slouching forward.

That was another thing, he had grown increasingly touchy. Not that it's a bad thing or that I minded it, just something I noticed was all. He reached out to me often, liked having me beneath his hands.

"I remember that book." He said quietly after a moment. "I remember you reading it to me while I was asleep." While he was comatose. He meant, but doesn't clarify.

"You do?"

"Yes. It felt like you were always there, you're the one I remember hearing the most." He let out a somber sigh. "It was like you never left."

"Only to go home and sleep." Like I should be doing now.

My eyes lifted up a moment to the door on the other side of his bed, knowing I should have left an hour ago and last time I overstayed I never heard the end of it. After Glenn had returned from having disappeared for a few days, his protectiveness over myself and Maggie had increased ten-fold. While he was not my blood father, I had a great amount of respect for him as he loved me and cared for me when he had every reason to look me over as the orphan I was. The kindness he and Maggie had shown me by accepting me as family was not something I wanted to ruin. But they understood the intense loyalty and unbreakable bond I shared with Carl, so they were lenient over the time I spent with him. Encouraged it, actually. But staying out late was still frowned upon. However, they had been very busy with each other in the nighttime recently, I'm sure I didn't cross their minds while they were intimate. So that was why I decided sitting with Carl a little longer had no harm to it. Or so I assumed. 

"Does it hurt?" I asked, climbing onto the mattress and settling on my knees, the moon light from the window washing over my shoulders.

He was quiet for a moment before he shrugged one of his boney shoulders. "Sometimes yes and sometimes no... Every once in awhile I forget it's gone."