Nor⭐️Cal

XV.

Nor⭐️Cal

<>One Week Later<>

What are thoughts and why are our minds constantly coming up with new ones? Why are they so full of questions but it's the ones without an answer that leave us fixated with wonder. Maybe I just think too much into things and create my own wonder but either way, my mind is never at rest and I've never wanted that ecstasy more so than now.

I finished my medication as prescribed and now I was in the clear. Dad was at the church and I was alone in my room still in my pajamas till I got out of bed, walking to my dresser. I dug around my drawer, pushing aside bras and whatnot till I got the container and took out two pills. I already had a glass of water on my nightstand so I drank some water first and popped the first pill- it tasted sweeter than I last remembered. I looked at the second pill and saw it was a mini light pink M&M. I flipped it over and saw a tiny smiley face drawn on.

I ran over to the dresser and quickly looked at the rest to see they were all mini pink M&Ms with smiley faces drawn on one side. I threw the container across the room and let out a scream of frustration. Grabbing a fist full of my hair, I let out a frustrated breath and ran over to my phone, quickly scrolling to CJ's name and dialing his number.

He and I hadn't talked since I walked home from his house. I wasn't going to reach out and call or text him, he needed to be the one that texted or called first to apologize but of course, I caved in.

"What'chu want?" He said absent of any emotion in his voice.

"What the hell did you do to my pills!" I yelled into the phone.

"You think I'm fuckin' stupid? I knew you'd try to get them back. Enjoy the M&Ms, they're much better and I know you women love your chocolate."

"How dare you! I told you I was going to stop! I paid for those you piece of shit! And don't give me that bullshit either! I didn't ask you to help me or anything!"

"I'm giving you point four seconds to bring your voice down. You need help because you're screamin' into the phone like a banshee over some ecstasy. I don't care if you bought them or made them, I told you you were done with them."

I just hung up. I don't want to hear him anymore and I feel sick to my stomach. My head is throbbing and I all I want is those pills. I wanted to finish them off since I paid a great deal of money for them and he just throws them out like trash. I guess he enjoys seeing me suffer but as of right now he isn't here to get a front row seat to see me in pain.

Falling face down onto my pillow, I cried. I didn't want to be like this anymore, I didn't want to need these pills but it blocked out the bad that dragged not too far behind me. I hate him for doing this to me, I can't stand him for taking away what made made me happy and I hate him for constantly hurting me.

***

"Stop your damn pity party and get out of bed." He demanded when he slammed the door to my room. "I mean it, get yourself up now."

"Go the fuck away. Doesn't that sound pretty damn familiar?" I snapped right back at him before turning on my side so my back faced him. "You aren't supposed to be in here. Get out. I sure as hell didn't let you in."

"I let myself in 'cause your ass is too lazy and goin' through withdrawal to be able to come down and open the damn door. Now get up, get dressed and get out of the room. I'm not repeatin' myself." He said in a more threatening tone.

"No. I'm tired of you and all your shit. Get out of here or I'm calling the cops to come get you out of here. It's your choice."

"You and I both know very well that you're not goin' to call the cops. You're a God damn addict like your sister and you won't admit it because you're ashamed of it. Vanity, look at yourself. For a woman who I know is smart, how the hell you bein' so stupid? You see what the fuck drugs did to Chastity and she literally lives day to day trying to get that sensation she got when she first got high but she not realizin' she can't get to it. That's how you're gonna be, you're gonna see the pill not doin' what it used to- I've seen this cycle one too many fuckin' times and you're not gonna be another one to fall victim to it-"