"I'm so sorry i cant make you always love me, i never thought it will be like this, i cant lie that i love you and i was never ready for you to leave me, but what can i do? i just want you to know i hate you so much but its hard to hate someone we l...
gw masih ada di pelukan harry, he is great, he is a good listener, give me some advice, hold me when im down he is a boyfriend materials, im pretty sure that everybody wants harry to be their boyfriend.
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gw udah ada di hotel, gw lebih milih tidur di kamar harry. sebelum tidur dia suruh gw mandi dulu terus kasih gw cup of tea dulu baru deh dia tiduran di sofa, he is so humble and kind. gw mikirin louis dari tadi, masih ga nyangka kalo dia kaya gitu:'( akhirnya gw memutuskan buat kekamar louis, i just wanted to say goodbye bc tomorrow im gonna go to madrid. gw tau louis ga pernah kunci kamarnya, akhirnya gw jalan ngendap ngendap supaya harry ga bangun
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setelah gw nyampe di depan kamar louis, gw narik nafas dulu terus baru deh buka pintunya, bener aja kann pintunya ga dikunci. gw liat louis lagi tidur sambil pake earphone itu emang kebiasaan dia, he is still look so pretty, dengan masih ada luka dan lembam lembam dimukanya, dia keliatan tenang, akhirnya gw duduk disampingnya dan ngelus ngelus kepalanya sambil bisik bisik.
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Me: "hallo lou, im so sorry i cant make you always love me, i never thought it will be like this, i thought you really love me, when i heard briana is pregnant your baby and you gonna merry her and when you said you dont love me. its fucking hurt. cause i love you more than anything, i cant lie that i love you and i was never ready for you to leave me, but what can i do? i just want you to know i hate you so much but its hard to hate someone we love right? this is by far lou. i cant take it anymore. love you. dont forget to eat healty food, take care of yourself louis" kata gw yang udah berlinang air mata terus cium keningnya terus balik lagi ke kamar harry.
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sekarang gw lagi mau otw ke stage. yup gw udah di madrid. gw harus tetep senyum walaupun gw ga mau senyum, bc gw ga mau liat fans gw sedih. tapi di satu lagu gw nangis dan bener bener ga sanggup nyanyi, akhirnya gw minta fans gw buat nyanyi sama gw. its still hurt. banyak fans fans gw yang nanya gw kenapa, gw bisa liat mereka mukanya berubah jadi sedih juga, gw jongkok terus ngulurin tangan gw buat megang tangan fans fans gw yang di front row, sampe pas gw mau bediri dan lepasin tangan gw, tangan gw tetep di pegang ditahan sama mereka dan mostly dari mereka bilang "r u okay yn?" "is it about louis?" "we are here dont be sad!" dan gw cuman ngangguk dan bilang 'im okay, im so sorry this is get too emotional' terus ngambil air minum dan apus air mata gw. It was so hard for me.
-skip 2 month-
selama dua bulan ini di satu lagu itu gw selalu nangis, fans fans gw juga pada bawa sign yang tulisannya 'stay strong yn' di setiap lagu itu mereka ngangkat signnya. konser gw udah selesai dan daripada gw se menegement sama 1D dan ketemu louis setiap hari, gw udah mutusin semuanya, gw bakal berenti dari dunia karir/keartisan gw dan kerja di bakery lagi dan jalanin normal life tapi nanti abis penghargaan #AMAs gw bakal perform 3 lagu dan itu bakal jadi perform terakhir gw. oh iya one direction? they're not over yet! akhirnya mereka nyatu lagi setelah diomongin sama simon. and louis? dia sampe sekarang belum nikahin briana-_- idk why.
