What I Left Behind

What I Left Behind- Chapter 29

I sighed and put my head in my hands. I knew I screwed up and I've felt like shit about not telling her since I found out. What good would it have been to tell her now though, with everything she's already dealing with? She's had too many things going on and the last thing I want is for her to worry about me when I can worry about myself.  

" I wanted to tell you I did but I couldn't. It's the hardest thing I have to talk about and I know that that's not an excuse but you have to understand, I didn't expect it to be like this. God Blake, I've wanted to tell you for so long but I couldn't. I don't want you to worry about me lover girl. You don't need the extra stress and especially now. I never wanted to hurt you." I said.

She walked over to me and sat on the bed so that we were only a foot apart from each other.

She looked down at her hands and thought to herself for a little bit.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked softly as she slowly lifted her gaze from her hands to my face.

I ushered her to move closer to me and she did so. I cupped her face in my hands, "Nothing that can't be taken care of." I said looking directly in her eyes that were filled with worry and concern.

Her eyes were forming tears but none fell down her cheeks.

"What is it?" She asked again but pausing between words.

I sighed.

"I have a heart condition but it's nothing to be scared about. All of my doctors told me that I can take care of it and today was just some minor glitch that just needs to be taken care of as well, that's all lover girl." I said stroking her cheek.

Her eyes tightened, "A heart condition? I don't understand, no one in your family has one and you're so healthy and perfect...I don't understand." She said shaking her head, about ready to break down.

"Hey. None of this makes sense but one thing does and that is that I'm going to get through this okay? Don't worry about it. I've taken care of it and I will continue to take care of it lover girl." I said kissing her cheek. She held my arm tightly as if she was holding onto me as if I were a rope holding her onto Earth.

"My god, how long have you had this?!" She asked with the worry returning to her eyes.

I really did not want to say this but I knew I had to. She needed to know the truth and if I came clean about everything just now, I needed to come clean about everything else as well.

"I found out last year at the football game where I had the accident." I said waiting for her response.

She looked at me more skeptically. Worry left her eyes and angry took its place. She stepped back from my hold on her so that she was now standing beside the bed.

"You know about this for a year and didn't bother to tell me?" She said with hurt in her voice.

"You told Drew about this and not me?" She said more angrily.

"No, he found my medicine by my nightstand one night. I swear I didn't tell him. Him or Charlie." I said.

"Charlie too? They all knew and you didn't bother telling your girlfriend? Do I have any meaning in your life Ethan or am I just some stranger to you?" She said putting her hand up to her forehead then running her hands through her gorgeous long hair.

She turned around and huffed.

"Don't get mad at them, they wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." I said.

"Blake I'm so sorry. I never in a million years wanted to keep this from you." I said.

"But you did." She said once she turned around.