10 - a bubble

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Blake

I couldn't get myself to sleep last night. I cried the whole night. She broke up with me. Those five words kept repeating in my head, and I felt like crying again just at the thought of it.

I thought all of this was just a crazy dream and sometimes I wanted to go to sleep to wake up in the real life, where she was there, beside me, her breathing in pace and rhythm, her eyes closed, and her looking so peaceful in her sleep.

But this is reality.

I wanted this to be a nightmare, but when I wake up, she's not there, and my tear stained cheeks were still there, and my puffy blood-shot eyes were still there too.

And for the first time in forever, I didn't know what to do.

I took my phone and checked the time. Not really. I wanted to see of she texted me or called me saying she regretted being back to being a nerd and then everything will be fine and we'll cook pancakes at 11:30 am on a Sunday in her house.

But no. That never happened.

"Things don't go as you imagine, dear." My grandma used to say when I cried over a thing when I was ten. I sighed and just looked at the time. 4:57 AM. I sighed and unlocked my phone, and then going to the gallery. I swiped left and right for the wasted but worth it memories, pictures of us, under the stars, everything that happened before this chaos.

Next I looked at the notes. I'm that weird person who always checked the notes, because that's where Allie always typed sweet things instead of saying them. She always reminded me to always check the notes she'd left. I opened the app and read the older ones, to the new ones. I love this note she wrote two weeks ago.

I love you with a burning passion, you know that? I've always thought about you whenever we don't have the same class. I can't blame you for being the most beautiful human being God has ever made. I LOVE YOU BLAKE ANTHONY SMITH PADILLA! ❤️❤️❤️ xoxo, A <33

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away. I remember how she told me that I looked like a typical white girl who cried over Titanic. I remember how she laughed and kissed me, saying secrets I didn't know she kept from me.  I spent over half an hour playing the memories over & over again. I realized how stupid I am right now. "Love is timeless," Allie used to say. "You never know how much time you spend when you're with your true love." I remember her smiling and hugging me, saying she appreciated all the little things I've done. I remember when we first got to clubs together, how I'd feel so overprotective she just smirks at me, and that feeling that she was just kidding and then she'll kiss you out of nowhere. I loved her. I loved how she makes very little effort for my love for her grow bigger.

I loved her imperfections. I loved all of her.

Now I didn't even know what happened to her personality, and now she's just treating me like a stranger she met before, but only once.

Her love and affection was like a bubble ever since she ended things. You blow hard on it, but, pop. It's gone. Never coming back.

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dyk ? this chapter was first named 'insomnia & memories' but, I, the stupid one, realized that all of the things he said were a memory, i even described it as a bubble.

answers after the last & final chapter.

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