Brisée (gmw) (slow updates)

UPDATE (please read if you want the 411)

well hello there! god, how cheerful of me. hello my name is léa and i am me, yes indeed!

no; hello, my name is martin and i am the lovely man who gets to kiss the author. (p.s: i am being cheesy because i am super high. we both are, but she is telling me what to write except not this right now.) i keep getting distracted, shit, okay let's go. ((update to the update: the picture isn't of me, he looks much nicer. i have light blue/grey eyes so i sometimes look evil and my hair is way crazier, you know the turkish side not only gave me mental health issues but also curly ass hair but the american/ french side made me somewhat a psyco so yay!)

so, léa hasn't updated or written in a long time. she can't write, she can't read. it's been like that for a week or two now, she's not sure and that worries me.
(this is happening as we speak)
"martin, i wish i could sing. don't you?
-you've got vocal cords, so you can.
-it's not the same. you're not understanding right...
-that's because you aren't explaining properly.
-fuck off! (i'm a cunt)
-please explain. i want to get what you're saying.
-i'm only telling you because i want to try and explain. i can't explain it in my head, to myself...
-okay go.
-are you writing this down? this is private you ass.
-come on i'm all ears.
-music beats us-
-what?
-music beats us, when you play or sing, even hum; it's out there. everything hears it. the earth between our toes, the leaves even bloody people can hear it even if they weren't meant to. if i draw or write, i'm not heard. especially when i draw, no one get's my lines, choice of colour, choice of subject. i feel that if i could sing i would be heard, it doesn't matter what you say if you sound right, if the music carries the auditor some place any place even if it isn't where i want to take them. it should feel liberating shouldn't it? whenever i write i get suicidal, whenever i draw or paint i get suicidal. but it's a silent cry, that you hear too late.
-i get it,but, you know you're lucky. you're still able to express your feelings..."
(i cut it short, i got all mushy.)

okay now back to the what i am here for, léa isn't mentally well enough to write. she has been eating a lot and it's making her extra paranoid, which makes her throw it back up. she's gained 2kg and it's made her feel horrible. i've also kind of confiscated her phone, why you ask? well because thomas has been harassing her again, and i will be keeping it until it stops, the things he's saying are disgusting and it's taking all my strength not to go over to him and slice his throat and watch him bleed dry. wow someone's mad. yes i am very mad.
but as she is taking a sabbatical from writing she wants to do research, she wants to experience the things her characters will because tbh i've watched a bit of girl meets world and have read some of léa's writing and her version is much more complex (?). anyway she wants to add depth to some of the stuff that will happen.

some other things have been happening to her as well, first of all her dad is being very confusing. he can act very loving then turn horrible very fast, without warning.
some good things have been happening as well, as in me! no, well sure but i'm a constant goodness ( i'm quoting her. i'm not egotistical.) seriously though, she was accepted to her forst choice uni! but that means we might have to break up. the bad things for later.

also, we are engaged? it's a very long and stupid story.

(happening right now)
"léa, should i tell them about thomas? because i wrote what you told me to and he's been mentioned.
-just tell them... tell my two readers that he's the man that i fear, i guess.
-noted."

this is the end of the update.

now, i, martin will write:
i would like to thank the people on here with whom she feels safe enough to talk to. really, thank you. you have no idea how much it means to her and i, but she's what's important.
i know i'm not the best boyfriend and i hope one day i'll be better. that's why i hope our break up will give me the chance to prove myself.
to the people she trusts, promise me that you will try and be there for her when i can't especially this autumn.

thanks for reading,
i hope you try to understand,
léa... and martin