A New Life (River Phoenix)

The Decision

"Are you kidding?" She asks, but Flea speaks up.

"Hey, calm down. There are just some things that need to happen when you're older. And it doesn't mean we won't get to see them again!" He says in attempts to lighten the mood.

She shakes her head and throws up her hands; her cheeks flushing in red and eyes glossing.

"Fine." She says in defeat. "Go. Go move across the fucking country and live your life, and don't  even think twice about it. I hope you two are all sorts of happy together. I just can't believe after everything we've been through, you're packing your bags and leaving just like that."

"Just like what?" I defend, and I see River and Flea's intense faces from the corner of my eye. "We've been living together for 2 years now. And we both have people in our lives that we're growing a future with."

"Hey," River starts, trying to break it up. "This doesn't need to be like this."

"Yeah, River is right." Flea adds. "You two need to get away from this media-frenzy town if you ever want to grow together. As long as you'll let me come and visit, I think you should go."

The room drops in silence for a couple of short moments.

It almost feels like every memory we shared as a group is slowly ripping into nothing.

It's sad and scary; but exciting.

Life seems fresh again.

"Is it settled?" River asks. "Will you come?"

Flea turns to me with a smile on his face while Piper turns to me with tears in her eyes.

In one second, I can't help but wonder what life would be like without her.

In another, I can't help but wonder what life would be like without him.

I'm stuck.

"I think I need to call someone," I say, and head towards the phone.

To assure that no one can eavesdrop on my conversation, I head into my room and dial the number to my parents.

I hope they're awake.

"Carmen?" My mother's voice rings.

"Mom, I need your help." I admit, feeling more like a 12 year old than a 20 year old.

"What is it?" She asks.

"River wants me to move in with him," I explain. "In Gainesville. I'd have to move all over again and probably barely get to see Piper. And she's all sad and upset with me but I just don't know. I want to go but at the same time I don't."

I haven't realized how much I had been talking until my throat started to hurt and my voice began to shake with each word.

"Calm down, honey." She commands. "You and River have been together since you moved two years ago. That's a long time to be with someone, especially at your age. I know it's scary to start something that you know will determine the rest of your life, but at some point, you'll have too. If you're comfortable enough with him to do this, you need to do it. There comes a point in every persons' life when you need to drop everything for your future."

"But I don't get it, Mom. It doesn't make any sense. Why me? Why is it that out of everyone I could end up with, it's him? Doesn't that seem a little strange to you? It's almost too good to be true; like there's a catch."

"Maybe there is. Maybe there isn't. But Carmen, you won't ever get to find out if you stay in the same place your whole life. They say when you start to get scared, that's when you jump. Or else you'll stay in the same spot forever."

-

I talk with my mom for a couple of minutes; we discuss all the options of what I can do if I decide to move.

She insists on college, which doesn't surprise me a bit, but I decide to consider all of my options.

When I have finally made a decision, I return to the living room.

Tensions haven't died down a bit.

No one speaks.

"Well?" Flea asks.

Pipe folds her arms and refuses to look at me while River crosses his fingers and squints, studying my reaction.

I laugh slightly at his silly facial expression but soon stop.

"I'll go."

River leaps ten feet into the air and runs to me.

I find myself lifted off of the floor as he jumps around, dragging me along with him.

"You will never regret this!" He insists. "Never for a moment."

Flea comes to join us, wrapping his arms around us like a father bear.

"I think you're doing a good thing." Flea says.

"A good thing? This is a great thing! I think my head might pop off. I need to call Rain." River screams.

He begins to run out of the room but soon returns, grabbing my face and kissing me harshly.

He's still smiling as he pulls away and darts for the phone.

"You won't regret this!" He screams again.